You are very beautiful, dressed en femme. Have you ever run into anyone you knew, and if so, did they recognize you? My guess is that they would not…but I am curious! I feel like even those who know me wouldn’t connect the dots. Have you had this happen to you at all?
But I kind of let it happen. I could have stepped away but I chose not to.
Being recognized was one of the biggest fears I had and it held me back from going out into the real world for too long. But after years of stepping out, I realized no one really pays much attention to each other anyway.
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
4 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!”
Hannah, thank you again for all of you fabulous writing! So wonderful and helpful to so many people!!!
I have had pleasant accidental encounters (a friend at a dance party) and less pleasant (my 14 year old son). I agree with you that most people just are not paying that much attention, and when they do, I am always amazed that they can’t figure it out. I had one person who I met and they had absolutely NO IDEA who my Cis version was. I asked them if they minded doing a little social experiment and see how long it would take them to figure it out with me posting pictures for them and giving hints. I had to make it REALLY OBVIOUS.
But, that is always the fear. The accidental outing. And, that can be a bit of a mixed bag. But, in my experience, it has been generally harder for the other person than for me. Not to say I don’t care, but to say that a relationship is a two way street and while we may be focused on what we might be feeling (shame, fear, etc), they also have what they feel. Most often, they just can’t really process it at first. It takes time.
I do think each person has to get to a certain point of self-acceptance to be able to check that fear/shame at the door when going out. In my experience, the more a person can be themselves (even in little steps), the better it is. And, eventually, you don’t really think about it,
Hannah, I didn’t run into someone but I get get caught on a camera. My friend has some property in northern Michigan. I was up that way and decided to go for a walk in the woods, totally femme. I was out there for about an hour and just enjoyed the fresh air. Then about two weeks later my friend asked me to meet him there because he had some work to do. When I arrived he was sitting at the table looking at pictures from his trail cameras he had set out. I knew this was going to be an issue. Only one camera caught me and it was side view with me looking away. I had a mid-length wig on and earrings. The picture was out a ways but I could tell it was me. He said he wondered what woman was walking across his property, he never put it together.
ty Hannah, for me when i came out back were i grew up. i was so nervous an scared what would happen. but being a full time transgender in transition i had to go an not look back. at 1st i got wierd looks an some puzzlement from some and others acted like its no big deal. but after a awile it became like driving down the same road for years you dont realy look at the sides just drive on. an now everyone just dosen’t realy pay attention or at least it seems that way. i am this t girl 24/7 and they have all got use to me being me and the friendly ones an same people who wait on me at stores just say hi maria how are you. and many of the cis gender females end up having long girl chats with me. i live in a small country town where everyone knows all an about them. so its known im a t girl and it isnt a thing to worry to pass as to make all think im a cis gen female. i do try an look my best but i just go an be me. and i have cd sister sisters ive been out with too in public you just go an dont worry about itif you live cd dual lives an dont want people to know just go in a town where no one knows you how i came out in the begining till i got my confidence up. ty HANNAH SO MUCH FOR YOUR GREAT BLOGS.much love to my sisters…maria
ty Hannah, and i once was worried about being found out where i grew up and had lived dual lives. at 1st i got my confidence up out of state where no one new me, then the scary part back home. but realy after awile people got use to me being me like driving down the same road every day u realy dont look. and that s how it is im a transitioning t female an they got use to seeing me as me. and i have cd sister friends who do the samei am in a small town so all know im a t still i dont have a problem i try to look my best an just go.cis gens treat me as a equal an many times have girl talk out with them. and men either want me or act as if a fight if i get to close there are men who once saw me in man clothes that now look at me as how did you become this hot chick .it was hard in the begging to prepair my self to confront all. but there are so many cd an t sisters an all in the public eye now its realy not a shock anymore. much love to my sisters…always..maria