Do you ever worry that you are spending or want to spend too much time en femme?
I dress about twice a month, at least I have over the last few months. When I moved from simply underdressing to fully dressing en femme from wig to makeup to heels I was in the early stages of getting to know my gender identity, seeing what I liked, what felt right, and in many ways doing and wearing everything I have wanted to for years. I was dressing en femme every week.
This wasn’t a worry for me, but I think it was for my wife. When we were dating it was a shock to learn her boyfriend wore panties. When we got married it was an adjustment (to say the least) to watch her husband learn makeup and to help him zip up a dress. Like many of our partners she wondered and worried where this was going. I went from panties to a very complete wardrobe in what seemed to be a very short time.
Despite my best attempts at reassuring her she still worried. It took years for her to mostly stop wondering if I would want to start living full-time, start hormones, or make a drastic change in my life.
In the early days I was lost in the pink fog. When you are lost in the fog you usually don’t worry about spending too much money on clothes or worrying about spending too much time en femme or wanting to be en femme. I mean, that’s the whole definition of the pink fog.
Over the years I became more comfortable with my gender identities and felt the most comfortable identifying as bi-gender. I am happy with both genders I present as. I don’t need to choose which gender to present as for the rest of my life. It can change daily and even throughout the day. The key in life is finding balance in life, whether between work and family, and for girls like us, balancing gender identities. Denying my femme side isn’t healthy, and spending too much time as Hannah may cause me to neglect my responsibilities and my wife’s feelings. My wife likes Hannah, she knows that Hannah is part of who I am, but she would miss her husband if Hannah visited too long and too often.
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!