Ask Hannah!

Fear is something we all come across at sometime. I guess the biggest fear about crossdressing is getting caught. Not just getting caught wearing femme attire but buying femme stuff in male mode in public. I used to drive miles away from home where no one would recognize me and go shopping. Still you would get stares while going through say a hosiery display at a store. I have to say this day and age we live in makes much easier. i remember placing my 1st order from I was excited about getting my new skirt, bra and panty set, and waist cincher, but I still had worries about my package coming to my home and getting opened by someone else by mistake. I voiced my concern the enfemme and they suggested that I have my package delivered to a UPS store, and I have to say this was the perfect solution. Pay simple fee of $5 and a gurl has what she needs. Also ordering on line and picking up at the store works ok also. I have ordered hosiery from JC Penney online and when I went to pick up my order at the store I would play the role of some guy picking up an order for a wife or girlfriend. Amazon is great especially this time of year. You are ordering gifts and blend in a few gifts for your femme side. Hannah is what I pointed out a good solution and do you have any further solutions for a tgirl?

Some might say that we are paranoid but I feel that paranoia is what keeps us safe.  On the other hand it’s easy to overthink.  Yes, I would be terrified if someone besides myself opened up something I ordered from En Femme, but at the same time I can’t recall an instance where someone other than myself opened a piece of mail or a package that was sent to me.

Fortunately En Femme, along with many of the other designers understand how crucial privacy and discretion are to their clients so most send out our orders in plan, unremarkable packaging.  

And yes, I would agree that having items sent to a UPS store is a great idea.  Amazon also offers to ship orders to secure “lockers” that are usually found in malls or other public places which are opened by using a special code.  You may also want to consider getting a p.o. box which are relatively inexpensive.

On a related note, this side of us is something that some of us keep from our significant others.  Most of you know my feelings and thoughts about not being upfront about this so I won’t get into that, but keep in mind how having a secret p.o. box (or something similar) would look to our partners were they to find out.  If you are caught or once you come out anything you’ve kept from them could come to light and whether it’s an email account or a mailing address that they weren’t aware of it will likely lead your partner to wonder what else you were keeping from them.

As for shopping in male mode, yes it’s not tooooooooooo common for a guy to be in the hosiery or makeup section.  You may have someone look at you and they might wonder why you’re there but they will just as quickly move onto their own business.  They MIGHT think something, but really, who cares?  For starters unless you ask them you really don’t know what they think.  And who cares what they think?  Picking up an order or purchasing a dress in male mode MIGHT make a cashier wonder why a guy is buying a dress but I assure you once you leave their register they will probably stop thinking about it.  Just relax, don’t act out of the ordinary.  Don’t be weird. Don’t make it weird. 

Years ago when I would purchase something in male mode I would ask the cashier something like “if this doesn’t fit, can she return it?”.  It was my intention that they would think I was purchasing it for my wife.  But after a while I realized they probably don’t care at all.  When I worked in retail I didn’t care what people bought.  When I was a cashier I would ring up a hundred people a day and after my shift I couldn’t tell you a single thing that anyone bought…. but I did remember when a customer was weird or when the transaction was anything other than mundane.  Keep in mind that you are not the first, nor the last, nor the only guy who has ever purchased panties at Target.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

7 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!

  1. Hannah,
    I remember doing everything you wrote about, but the world has changed and my presentation has improved. So now I go everywhere en femme from church to clubs to shopping. Hopefully 2021 will release us all from all the restrictions. All the best to you; enjoy our being special.


  2. Great story. I used to be so anxious about being caught that I stopped wearing shorts to the gym while my legs were shaved, despite that every competitive bodybuilder in the world is waxed to the bone.
    The most awkward moment I’ve had–and it wasn’t *that* awkward–was when my grown son was helping me move and, when he picked up a box, he glanced at the still-attached shipping label and asked, with a cautiously puzzled voice, “Who’s ‘Alana’?” I responded, “I also get a lot of mail addressed to [mangled, combined version of my name and that of my ex-wife, his mother].” My response was true, and my son amicably ignored that I had actually dodged his question.
    These days I’ve lost my fear of in-person browsing of women’s clothing & makeup, although in my small town I’m careful not to be too obvious about it.
    I think much of our fear is a version of that self-consciousness that teenagers (and even constantly insecure adults, of which I used to be one) have, that false idea that everyone is looking at them.
    Yeah, almost no one is. And even those who are looking don’t care, in most cases.
    To be sure, there are plenty of reasons to be cautious. I’ve practiced in my mind several versions of how to react if I’m ever challenged while en femme by some macho jackass, and my wife & I have protocols for how to interact & communicate with each other on those too-infrequent chances we have to go out & girl it up.


  3. I remember the first time I bought a dress at a thrift store. It was over 30 years ago. I paced the aisles for a half hour wondering what the cashier would think. In the end, he said nothing. All these years later, I make no bones about letting retail folks know I’m shopping for myself. My wife still insists that our children know nothing about my love for femme things, so if I want something by mail I have it shipped to my friend’s house and pick it there. Right now I’m awaiting a dress from Ivy City Co.. They have some super pretty feminine dresses!


  4. Hannah, I think you have spoken for many of us. Overthinking a situation only makes it notable and more likely to be remembered whereas is would just be passed by. Thanks!


  5. Also Hannah one thing I forgot to add is a retailer has self check out that is a plus also. No cashier giving you a strange look if you buy, say hosiery, make up, lingerie, and other girly things.


  6. I took this advice to heart and went to Target today and purchase 3 pairs of panties. Wearing a pair now and love the feeling. Unfortunately my sizing was off – bought too large. Live and learn though. Planning to go back tomorrow. Earlier in the day went to CVS and bought a pair of tights which I wore all day.


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