The Visible T-Girl

I need a break from (gestures all around) all this.


No, not from writing or being on social media.  I need a break from the seemingly unending string of anti-trans legislation.  There are currently over 80 bills being discussed right now across the country ranging from health care to participation in sports to a business’ “right” to discriminate against those in our community.  


It seems to be a popular, and perhaps an easy issue to unite certain fractions of our world.  It’s easy to demonize us, I suppose, despite the realities and the facts.  If you’ve never seen or met a transperson it might be easy to believe that we are all twisted, sick, perverted, confused fetishists.  We’re not, obviously.  But it’s easy to rile some people up into thinking we are.  


The pandemic has been a reality for over a year now which is something I never thought would happen.  It has limited going out and enjoying the small, everyday things I used to take for granted, both en femme and as a male.  Not being able to meet up with the MN T-Girls or spend the day at a museum or the mall has been frustrating and depressing, to say the least.  And yes I know it’s shallow.  I know the pandemic has impacted the world and others in more serious, sadder ways.  


But as we get closer to the end of the pandemic, we are starting to take stock of the damage, both emotional and otherwise, that this global event has caused.  Of course there’s an economic impact, of course there are changes to healthcare, changes to how businesses are run, to how we work, learn.  Our mental and emotional and psychological sides have been affected as well.  When someone goes through something traumatic (and I 100000% believe this is/has been traumatic), our brains don’t really process it until it is safe to do so.  Our brains kick into survival mode and focus on getting us through it.  


And we are getting through it.  And we are starting to see how the last year or so has changed us.
One of the goals of the MN T-Girls is to increase visibility of our community in the world.  If someone sees us at a cafe hopefully that person will see that we are just girls catching up over a coffee.  Hopefully they realize that we are not the twisted, sick, perverted, confused fetishists others say we are.  


When I go out en femme I am aware that I might be the first t-girl a cashier, a server, a barista, another shopper sees or talks to.  Again, I hope that the brief interaction helps someone understand that we are just trying to live our lives.  It’s an ambitious goal, but it’s something that happens in small bits and pieces.  


Basically what I am saying is that we as a community and as individuals haven’t been as visible in the last year as we normally are.  Being visible will (perhaps naively) help others know that we are just… people.  Being visible, buying a coffee, shopping for shoes, doing normal everyday stuff humanizes someone in the eyes of another.  It helps people relate to others.  It’s hard to deny someone kindness when you see them.  When you can relate to them, even on the smallest level.  I wonder if there is a connection between the surge of anti-trans legislation and the lack of visibility and representation of our community in the real world, in the everyday world.


If more people see t-girls and t-boys in the world, perhaps support for these bills will diminish.  
Going out en femme is a necessary part of my life and my gender identity.  AND! it’s also activism.  Activism isn’t always protests and demonstrations.  Sometimes it’s quietly shopping for a skirt at the department store.  

Love, Hannah

8 thoughts on “The Visible T-Girl

  1. Hi Hannah,

    I understand your fatigue. It is easy to get caught up in the nagatives. Hateful people will always exist and they tend to have a loud voice even though they may not share the opinion of most.

    There have been some spectacular developments as well:

    –Sarah McBride was elected a state senator.
    –Rachel Lavine was picked my the President and confirmed by congress to be the assistant HHS secretary.
    –there was an outpouring of Congressional support for Representative Marie Newman’s daughter.

    These show the growing support for our community.

    The Republican party is ripping itself apart with their hate and lack of focus on substantive policy. If they continue, the future will continue to look bright for our community.

    Young people are very accepting. As they gain more and more power this silliness will be overcome. That may not help me personally but it is comforting knowing that things will get better.

    Jodi

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Yesterday I stopped in a convenience store to get coffee and the clerk on duty was a elderly trans. Dressed in female attire but obvious facial features I interacted with a thank you and moved on. Few years back I encountered a trans in a drug store as a clerical waiting on people. A year ago as a clerical myself I assisted a trans with product information. Our presence is growing leaps and bounds.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Covid fatigue is real and I for one am glad we are on the other side for the most part.
    I do grocery shop many weeks as my girl self, I enjoy it much and do hope others see a women when I do, wearing a mask which I despise does make me less obvious that I’m trans but even without one I’m going to try and show those we are just people like anyone

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  4. The last time I was out of the house en femme was the end of February last year at a CD/TG support group. I’ve only interacted with the group on Facebook and in Zoom meetings since then, which doesn’t match being with them in person and in public. I look forward to the day when I can shed the mask, join my CD/TG friends in the flesh, and prove to the world that we’re not people to be afraid of.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. The assault on trans people reflects two things in my view. First, the propensity of bullies to pick on those they perceive unable to defend themselves. So now the bullies in far too many legislatures have decided to pick on the infinitesimally small number of children, perceiving these children as the most vulnerable target. Second, this same despicable group of bullies lacks any legitimate issues, so they are looking for topics that appeals to their hateful base.

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  6. I also think that the world seing more of us going about our lives – depositing that check, getting that rescription filled, filling the cart with groceries, pumping gas, waiting for the train, loading mulch is important. Great example – Thailand. People wear what they want, they present how they want to. Sure – no one should prescribe. But seing more of us like others going about their lives might help world see us diffrently.

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  7. I also think that the world seing more of us going about our lives – depositing that check, getting that rescription filled, filling the cart with groceries, pumping gas, waiting for the train, loading mulch is important. Great example – Thailand. People wear what they want, they present how they want to. Sure – no one should prescribe. But seing more of us like others going about their lives might help world see us diffrently.

    Like

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