I daydream all the time about Hannah. I think about clothes, I think about things I want to do en femme. Sometimes when I am trapped in male mode I let my imagination take over and live vicariously through memories and fantasies (non-sexual, I can assure you) to break up the boredom of my boy life.
Having a gender identity that the rest of the world doesn’t see can cause us to think things to ourselves as opposed to accidentally revealing her to someone. For example, if someone is talking about how heels hurt after a while, I can’t let them know I can relate with them. If a girl I know is wearing a cute outfit, I can’t ask her where she bought it. Because of this, is it any wonder our inner thoughts and subconscious focus on our femme lives?
Dreams are not much different. We dream about our lives, whether it is the life we show most of the world, or the life we live in secret. Our dreams are a reflection of what we think about so it’s little wonder we dream about our femme selves. Sometimes these dreams can be anxiety-inducing, like dreaming we are caught by someone we don’t want to be out to. Sometimes these dreams are wonderful where we dress and we look beautiful. Other times these dreams can be pretty, well, boring. Last night I had a dream where I was shopping and trying on clothes.
This website is where I can write down all the things I think about and the things I feel. I hope it’s a place where girls like me can visit and relate to what I am thinking and feeling. Reading your comments is one of the highlights of my day and it’s lovely to see what you want to say. For some of us there are so few outlets we can turn to when it comes to discussing our femme selves so I hope that the comments are a place where a girl turns towards when it comes to getting her thoughts and feelings out into the world. Not all of us are able to share our wishes and fears and hopes with others but I hope you feel safe and welcome here.
That being said, I know some of us dream about our femme selves. I know some of us want to share these dreams with others but there isn’t always someone we can turn to. I want you to know you can share your dreams (the dreams you have when you’re asleep as well as your daydreams) in the comments here. I would love to read them and I know others would too.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
I dream of a day where I can live as I feel without hurting others, without shattering their image of me, without minimizing all I have accomplished in my 65 years, and without them questioning themselves as to whether or not they had or have anything to do with it. And your comment about the outfit…I find myself thinking the same thing! I love that dress, aren’t those sandals cute…looking at women for their clothes and how they carry themselves, as opposed to, well…you know😉 I dream of having Haley acknowledged as real, not dismissed as a fetish, or a bad habit that I should just break. I dream that someday I find a deeper understanding of others, and myself. You are brave, Hannah…thank you❤️
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Dear Hannah,
You write well and are open about your femme side on the site.
That is a terrific outlet. I am glad that you are able to maintain a successful male side as well. I believe that bi-gender people are much more common than we realized. While I have been bi-gender all of my life, I have gone through many stages of understanding. Christine Jorgensen was my first exposure, many years ago. When I discovered Charles Prince and Tri-Ess much later, I had begun to understand the extent to which our self identity was grounded in how we appear to other people. ( A well-established position in the social psychological literature) .
Finally I met others who enjoyed dressing as females in person and shared activities with them. In all of this I had a supportive wife and family who recognized that we might not want to boldly advertise this behavior. Of course, I had dreams too.
Some of the dreams have been realized and some have not and I still recognize that not everyone in my circle of activities would be tolerant of all that I do when it comes to dressing as the opposite sex. Please keep up the good work. You do a great job when you present your self, Hannah.
Blessings,
Tom ( Pippin)
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I dream of the day when I can dress and live as a woman and thoroughly enjoy my feminine self. Life is short-I can’t wait!
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I guess I’ve never really thought much about this as I’ve lived the way I choose for sometime, especially after my divorce.
I can dress when I please, and do, and I can go to work wearing makeup and looking quite gender fluid, and I do.
My dream I guess would be that my family would love an accept me no matter what, and that I could find love again in a women who loves who I am no matter my attire.
Ah yes one can dream
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I’ve heard that dreams often express, in a somewhat muddled and mixed up way, our feelings, concerns and frustrations. In my own case I have had those trying not to get caught dreams, dreams about being confronted or outed, but only fleeting memories of any positive gender related dreams. I think that may be simply the fact that the frustrating or frightening dreams leave a more distinct memory imprint.
Daydreams are quite another matter. I am sure I spend as much time as anyone slipping away from the mundane into imagining how I might dress for my next time out or how that dress or top and skirt might work for me. Then there is my private passion, searching for ideas in Pinterest, ranging from outfits by season and occasion, hair styles, and makeup. Those imaginings are always positive.
Thanks for always keeping your topics fresh, relevant and interesting!
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I’ve been a nurse for 24 years and I have yet to try working a shift in a white dress and tights. I still dream that I might someday.
I do take pleasure in complimenting women who still wear skirts and dresses, although I fear it’s becoming a lost art. Women fought long and hard for the right to dress masculine and some of them have embraced it fully. I should be able to choose to dress feminine if it pleases me! I told a woman at the grocery store last week “ I gotta tell you, your dress is super cute!” She thanked me and I was glad to say it out loud. I correctly identified the designer of one woman’s skirt once and she asked “how do you know about that”. I told her “because I like skirts too!”
Last week while I was out grocery shopping in a new ruffled tulle skirt and lace trimmed peasant blouse I had the pleasure of having my order rung up by a cashier who was also in genderqueer mode. He was wearing a patchwork hippie skirt and there were plenty of compliments back and forth.
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Dreams are wonderful. Dreams can lead to reality. They can lead to “to do” lists…bucket lists. I am finding that many of the dreams I had in the past have come to life sometime down the road. In the early days, I thought I was alone, weird, ashamed, that I had to stay behind closed doors. I dreamt of walking out of the house. That dream came true. Thanks to the internet, social media, I realized I’m not alone. Newer dreams included meeting others, traveling en femme, coming out to family. All have become reality. Everything I have accomplished in my journey was once a dream, yes a dream, not a goal. A goal is what you reach for. A dream is a wish. I wished for many things, never expecting any of those dreams to come true. But they have. I have done so much and am blessed to have done so. And Hannah, without realizing, you have had some influence on some of my dreams becoming reality.
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