Walking Backwards

This ISN’T “political”

I write a LOT about staying safe as a t-girl. This can cover a LOT of different things, such as how to safely wear a gaff, what to have in your purse, or how to stay vigilant in public when we are en femme.

There are things that threaten us other than just the transphobic jerk at the mall or a corset that is not worn properly.

We need to be aware of EVERYTHING that could hurt us, and that includes legislation.

So before you send emails telling me to stop writing “political stuff” or taking the comments section off the rails, please keep it in mind that our personal safety, protecting who we are, is more than just being able to safely walk in stilettos.

It wasn’t that long ago when it felt like things were getting better, that tomorrow was looking brighter.

When marriage equality was passed in 2015 it was an exciting time. It didn’t impact me personally but I was happy that many of my friends were finally going to be able to legally marry the person that they loved. When I married it was because I had the right to make a private decision about my life that impacted no one else on the planet and now my friends had the same right.

It was a sign that we as a country were becoming more progressive, more tolerant, and less intrusive about the private decisions that someone else made.

As a trans person I had hoped that it was a sign that our community was, well, next. Perhaps if marriage was defined as a commitment between two people, regardless of their gender, perhaps one’s gender identity differing from the gender they were assigned at birth could become more understood and accepted, or at the very least, tolerated.

At my most optimistic I was hoping we were becoming more enlightened. But if enlightened was a bridge too far, hopefully it meant that at the very least we could let grown adults make their own decisions about their body and their medical care.

Besides my wife, my gender identity and gender presentation and choices about my body impact exactly zero percent of the world’s population. How I dress, how I identify, the prescriptions I take, or conversations I have with my doctor are about as relevant to someone else as the type of music I listen to or the food I prefer.

If I chose to, I could schedule an appointment with my doctor today about HRT. If I wanted, I could file the paperwork to legally change my gender. As of this writing I can do anything I damn well please when it comes to my gender, whether it is about how I present or what box is checked on my drivers license.

I am an adult and can make my own decisions. Everyone should have that right, regardless of someone else’s religion or moral beliefs.

We all know that it’s looking very likely that Roe v Wade is going to go away. People who have the ability to become pregnant will no longer be able to make decisions about their health. A right that has been in place for almost fifty years will disappear.

I do not have the ability to get pregnant but I think pregnancy is the private and intimate decision that is left to the individual.

It’s not hard to imagine and anticipate what could come next.

Perhaps I am being pessimistic (and I really hope this is just pessimism) but I wouldn’t be surprised if marriage was equality was challenged and overturned.

We’re seeing laws being passed all around the country when it comes to gender-affirming care for the trans community. So far most of these laws are impacting those under the age of 18, but it’s not unlikely to think that there will be serious attempts to prevent grown adults from making decisions about their own gender and health.

Although I don’t want to transition or start HRT, I think I should have the right to make these choices if I wanted. I think you do too.

A law doesn’t have to impact me directly in order for me to support it.

Where will this all end?

As I wrote earlier, when marriage equality was passed, I had hoped that the trans community was “next”. My thoughts are somewhat the same today but they are less optimistic. If Roe v Wade goes away, I think that marriage equality will be targeted after that, and then WE are next.

I wouldn’t be surprised if doctors were prevented from prescribing estrogen to trans women or states were prohibited from changing one’s gender on a birth certificate.

But that is just the start.

Neither of these things impact ME personally. I don’t plan on starting HRT or legally updating my gender but dammit I think an adult has the right to make these choices for themselves.

It’s not hard to imagine (or fear) that gender presentation will be “regulated”. It sounds fascist to think so but perhaps someone could call the police on me if they see me, a t-girl, out in public.

I feel that bad things are coming. That they are already on their way.


Regardless of your religious beliefs or moral perspective or commitment to a political party, adults have the right (and I am speaking specifically about ADULTS in this post) to decide who they marry, how they dress, the pronouns they use, and their medical treatment.

The world is very different than it was a year ago. It will likely change even more in the months ahead.

Love, Hannah

16 thoughts on “Walking Backwards

  1. Hi Hannah,

    I believe you should be more optimistic.

    Yes things look challenging right now but that to shall change. Progress never happens in a straight line. Its always 2 steps forward, one step back. Evolution is slow

    More people are accepting of gay, transgender and minorities then ever before. That scares some very vocal mean people. Ultimately people will get fed up with that and select more reasonable leaders.

    The youth today are more accepting then ever. As they get a bigger voice they will change things for the better.

    As for Roe V Wade, this will now be up to the states. Some states will but limits on abortion, some will ban it and others won’t change. We will see people die because of it and as the younger people get older again these laws will evolve.

    Life will never be perfect. For people like us it is better than 15, 30, 45 years ago. It will be even better 15, 30, 45 years from now.

    Enjoy the wins, fight to change the losses and things work out in the end.



    Liked by 3 people

    1. I agree with you, Jodi, that things are much better than they were and that they will be even better in the future, at least not in the near future.

      I also agree with two steps forward, one step back. How true that is. I grew up in the 60s/70s/80s and have witnessed so much of this. Evolution is indeed slow, slower than we’d like.

      I believe that we’re always in a pendulum where issues swing one way and then the other, but that pendulum is imbalanced and overall it swings more toward evolution than backward. “When” Roe v. Wade topples, and with threats to marriage and other equality (e.g., trans rights, children, etc.) I believe we’ll experience a truly massive uprising that will move two giant steps forward versus those who would deny us our rights. We know, for example, that 2/3 of Americans believe in (some sort of) abortion. We’ve also witnessed how gay rights and yes, to a lesser extent, trans rights, have enhanced our society.

      Politics is much about power and money which we’ve seen from the MAGA people. I dare to say that those people don’t believe in all of the MAGA political positions and that as they are negatively impacted more will rise up against MAGA. And, politicians will see how much they stand to lose when they trample our rights.

      I actually think that the next couple of years will be fun to be a part of, although I can say that because I’ve already changed my name/gender/passport, cannot get pregnant, and don’t see myself marrying my girlfriend for at least a couple of years.

      The important thing is for all of us to peacefully be seen and rise up. I do know how challenging this is for people who are largely in the closet. If that stands in the way of visibility support however you can. Give big when asked for. Vote with your ballot and your wallet, and if you can, talk about all this stuff on occasions when yes, it might be more scary, with people who may have opposing views.

      We can do this, people, we really can.


    2. Jodivalley:
      A very thoughtful and well laid out response. Change IS a process, NOT an event. Change will come but the all or nothing stance of some [on both sides] is a direct result of pushing too much, too fast. People are afraid [again on both sides] and when people feel they are being pushed into a corner, they don’t always react rationally.

      The abortion issue is a very personal matter. It is not as easy as taking an all or nothing approach. Yes the women’s rights must be protected, but with that also comes a responsibility for one’s own actions. The third party in this equation is the innocent unborn that through no fault of their own is being cast off as if [their] life does not matter. I hope and pray cooler heads will prevail and a degree of rationality will keep folks from jumping off the cliff.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Hannah, I’ve said before and I’ll say again, this is your blog and you should write whatever you please. Politics included.

    Some of your readers don’t enjoy seeing those posts — they’re free to skip over the ones that don’t interest them, just like anti-abortionists are free not to have abortions, and homophobes are free not to be gay (or at least, not to act on their gayness). But for some, having the personal freedom to live as they wish is not enough: they need to impose restrictions on others, prohibiting them from living the lives they want to live, in order to feel comfortable in their own lives. It is beyond ironic when the ones seeking to impose those restrictions are, themselves, living well beyond the pale of Ozzie and Harriet.

    But it is also especially important that those conflicted conservatives, in particular, should read some of these political posts, because they need to understand that they are, themselves, at risk. You are right when you suggest that other rights are also under assault, because they absolutely are. Of course marriage equality will come under attack. Of course the right to contraception will come under attack. Of course the rights of transgendered people will come under attack. All of those things are ALREADY under attack, and the attacks will now cite the Dobbs case as support. This isn’t a case of maybe.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I agree with Jodivalley – you need to be more optimistic. Keep in mind that even Obama was against gay marriage until he found out he could get more votes to help him get elected…so not just Conservatives. Anyway, the pro-abortion people by wanting abortions to be allowed into the 9th month, and even killing after the baby is born ( remember the ex-Virginia governor proclaimed this as fine ), have made even pro-abortion people ( like me ) upset at this blatant nonsense. We need a compromise instead of extremes on both sides – there should be a time limit ( unless a good medical reason for the late abortion ) on when an abortion is okay. Perhaps 20 months, at most?

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Political rant – sorry…Reading about these things tears me up inside. Roe vs Wade and this headline from another website pushes me over the edge: “Satanic Temple applies to fly flag in front of Boston City Hall after Christian Supreme Court win”. Gosh – and silly me, I thought that the only flags allowed to fly over government buildings were the flags of the United States and the state flag – as it should be!

    Sadly, I once thought Church and State were separate in our form of government. I see that in events such as these that it is no longer so. Many of my friends are intelligent, religious conservatives and they will be happy to see Roe vs Wade overturned. I love them all but it kills me inside and I can do little about it but suggest that there is more than one viewpoint in the matter.

    Ultimately, in listening to my friends’ and others’ viewpoints, they feel that the constant agitation about LGBTQ rights, bathrooms, athletes, pronouns, movies etc. is just too much, too soon and is being rammed down the throats of Citizens that believe differently. This generates the pushback which we now see and ultimately results in something which I’d never thought I’d see in my lifetime – the review of Roe vs Wade. I am so stuck in the middle and all I can hope for of the Supreme Court is that they make an unbiased decision. I cry in just thinking that it has finally come to this… 😢 I apologize for the rant.



    Liked by 2 people

  5. The leaked draft states that in no way does the rationale behind the decision apply to any other matter. If this is in the final decision we should take heart because this remark is rare and serves as a brake on any other move


    1. Yes, but the newer justices professed (or at least implied) that they were not anti-abortion. I want to believe the statement in the leaked draft but it seems very possible (if not likely) that marriage equality and similar equality rulings may be threatened and/or walked-back.


    2. Sorry, but that “only about abortion” statement wasn’t meant to be taken seriously. The legal reasoning for the opinion’s holding that Casey and Roe are overruled applies equally to contraception, gay marriage and every other right founded on the “right to privacy.” The rationale for limiting it to abortion is entirely unrelated, and will not stop for one second “conservative” efforts to attack those other rights.


  6. I’m not sure exactly what to say here except life is a precious gift and I feel we as a nation have cheapened it for far to long.
    With that said I think the abortion debate is one that needs to be settled once and for all. If Roe is overturned and the states once again control it I don’t think it will be as bad as some would lead us to believe.
    The other issues about marriage and trans rights are tricky as well and they too will find a way to be resolved.
    Our nation seems to be ever so divided and I really can’t see how these issues can ever satisfy the majority in my lifetime
    It’s truly a sad day for our country

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Jayne, your comments are dead on. Hannah, right as usual. Some of you commenter, get your head out of the sand.

    ALL of the justices set to overturn Roe testified in their confirmation hearings they believed Roe was settled law. THEY LIED. Now you want to believe them that gay and trans rights are off limits? How naive are you?

    The “life is a precious gift” party is the same party that allows slaughter of kids at schools, at concerts, at workplaces, and allows too many fucking guns in this country. It also opposes access to health insurance for many.

    The vast majority of people in the US support allowing abortion. It is a minority Supreme Court, appointed by Presidents that got fewer votes than their Democratic opponents, aided by a Senate that refused to consider a Democratic nominee 10 months before an election, but in turn rushing through a Republican nominee one month before an election.

    Once again, if you vote Republican, you are condoning and supporting the elimination of trans rights.


  8. Dee is correct. If you vote Republican, you are condoning and supporting the elimination of trans rights. The midterm general election is the time to support our freedoms and make a difference in our elected officials.


  9. What you are saying is true – we are being pushed by the Left side indeed. A compromise on Roe is in order because the pro-abortion side has gone way overboard to abort babies that can live outside the womb. Funny how the pro-abortion people are against capital punishment! Not consistent at all. Anyway, it is the Democrat side that is supposedly against guns, but when a person commits a crime with a gun ( Chicago ) they are soft on the punishment for using that gun! And the the Dems want to defund the police – well, this means that we will need to get a gun or two to defend ourselves! So which party is inconsistent.? I am an Independent, btw.


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