There’s is nothing wrong with most fetishes or kinks provided that they don’t hurt someone else (emotionally or physically) and if they require participation of someone else they have that person’s consent.
If I shut off certain parts of my brain, I can understand the appeal of most kinks and fetishes. They may not be for me, but I can usually see the attraction to it. Of course, there are some (that will be unnamed) that I will never for the life of me understand. And that is okay. I don’t get why some people enjoy watching professional bowling on television either, so there you go.
Many of us are sexually aroused by what we do. This could be someone getting turned on by they themselves wearing lingerie or a person fetishizing a girl like me. Although there’s not a drop of sexual pleasure I derive from dressing up, I mostly get the sexual aspect of allll this.
I am not here to kink shame anyone You do you, promise, but leave me out of it, bestie.
It’s sometimes… fascinating to see the polar opposites that being transgender can have. On one end we have the sexual/kinkiness of dressing up, on the opposite we have the activism side as we fight for our rights. And then there’s everything in-between.
I call myself an accidental activist because I’ve accepted that being transgender is often politicized. As much as the world needs changing I don’t feel that I am the right person to lead that movement. I feel I can create a greater impact on showing the world that transgender people are just people living their lives when I am simply out of the house en femme.
I’ve also accepted that I will forever receive unsolicited photos and emails and direct messages of dudes looking to hook up and to tell me how much they love “trannies”.
It’s ALMOST amusing to check my emails in the morning and see messages that cover both the “u r sexy” variety and the news alerts about potential legislation to hurt our community.
It’s like… much of the world hates us but we turn them on, too.
I have been fortunate to work with a lot of designers and business that support our community who make clothes and products for people like myself. I work for? with? En Femme and I love writing and modeling for them. I choose to partner with them because I think their clothes are super cute and they are simply a joy to work with. I do product reviews for the Breast Form Store and Glamorous Corset and have also written and modeled for Xdress and Glamour Boutique. I love this. It’s not only super fun but I also like to bring attention to businesses that truly support us, not just businesses that change their Twitter logo during Pride month.
However not every business that designs products for the trans community is for me. There are businesses that design panties with wider leg holes or more room in the shoulder area for girls with my body type. There are designers that make lingerie or breast forms for my anatomy. But there are also businesses that specifically focus on the sexual and fetishy aspect of crossdressing. Again, there’s nothing wrong with this and I’m sure that silicone vaginas and lifelike masks (and goodness some of them are VERY lifelike) are a godsend to some of us out there.
I am contacted from time to time from businesses like these who ask about partnerships or advertising on my website. I am happy to promote businesses that I feel align with my perspectives but I don’t see myself adding advertisements to my blog. This is not a criticism of those girls who DO, mind you, it’s just not something that I see happening.
I don’t want to be a bitch and call any business out, mind you. I don’t want to stigmatize “crossdressing as a kink” in any way. Again, someone’s kink should be a private thing that I have noooo business in knowing about. Don’t need to know, don’t WANT to know.
The countless photos of myself on my website probably suggest otherwise, but I will never claim to be more important than I know I am. I am a raindrop in the transgender ocean. That being said, I don’t think of myself as a spokeswoman or any sort of authority when it comes to crossdressing. There are many parts of identifying as non-cisgender that I have no experience in. I don’t know what it’s like to transition or take hormones. I also don’t have experience in the “crossdressing is a kink” world, either.
For those of you who do indeed associate all of *this* with sexual arousal, what is your take on products that are meant to… ah, enhance the kinkiness of what we do and of who we are? Are you glad to be able to buy masks and things along that line?