I swing madly back and forth between wanting to never leave my house and wanting to change the entire world.
I go between feeling hopeless to being inspired to start a revolution.
I want to give up and then five minutes later I want to keep fighting.
It’s easy to understand why I feel defeated and hopeless. According to the Human Rights Campaign, more than 300 anti-LGBTQ+ bills have been proposed in 2022.
From my perspective, these laws are pushed by people who hate and/or don’t understand people in the LGBTQ+ community. People supporting these laws are those who have already made up their minds about people like me and people like you. I am not the smartest cookie in the kitchen but I do know that once someone makes up their mind about something it is very unlikely they will change it.
Changes in law and legislation comes from activism. It comes from demonstration. It comes from a place that, at it’s roots, is very small and very patient. It needs to build. It needs a leader.
I would like to be a leader. I would like to be a part of protecting who we are. Sometimes I get so frustrated and angry and hurt by a proposed law that I want to organize a demonstration, a march, a… SOMETHING to show lawmakers and the world that trans people are valid and we are human and we should have the same rights as anyone else, whether it is access to medical care or protection against discrimination.
Buuuut I am not that person.
I don’t think I have the demeanor for that. I don’t think I have the skill set or even the time for what something like that requires and demands. I know this
sounds is selfish.
I feel frustrated because something needs to be done. I feel reassured (a little) when I see others taking up these causes. I feel less anxious when I see a peaceful demonstration of people, trans and cis, showing the world support.
I do think that if you can make the world a better place then you should try to. And on some level we ALL can make the world a better place. This could be something small like volunteering for a charity or cleaning up litter at a park.
Trans people are often accidental activists. We kinda HAVE to be. If we want a peaceful and quiet life where we can present how we please and live our lives we also have to do the big, hard things that are necessary to protect that. You may have zero interest in politics but you must be aware of what is at stake when it comes to who is in congress.
I know I CAN do more. I know I SHOULD. But I am often paralyzed by not knowing WHAT to do.
…but maybe I am doing SOMETHING.
At the last MN T-Girls event, I looked around the table at the different girls there, girls who have known each other from years of outings and girls meeting each other for the first time, chatting about shoes and family and work and everything else.
A little community… even if it’s just for a couple of hours.
I know I come off as conceited and very INTO myself (the zillions of pictures of myself more or less backs this up) but I don’t see myself as doing much GOOD in this world.
But again, maybe I AM doing something.
The world and the trans community needs every one of us. Some of us can lead a revolution, some of us can bring a dozen t-girls together each month for coffee or shopping or any of the other things the MN T-Girls do.
The goal of the group was to bring femme presenting trans people together to help with experiencing the “real world” and by doing that showing everybody that trans people exist and we are just as valid and normal as everyone else. Most of us are just a hell of a lot taller than everyone else, lol.
If I remember these objectives then I think the group IS successful. I think the group has changed lives (for the better). I hope the group has quietly shifted the heart and mind of at least one person out there who now sees that we are not a threat or perverts.
I mean, that’s how change happens, remember? From small, patient starts. I mean, that’s how WE start. From those small, timid steps in kitten heels in the privacy of our living rooms to strutting in stilettos at the mall.
The world needs leaders who can do the big things that create change… but maybe the world also needs leaders who can organize these small, quiet gatherings every few weeks. This is my place in a bigger world.
Maybe I am doing something.