The Girl in the Picture

I grew up in a home that was constantly getting catalogs from Victoria’s Secret or fashion magazines. I lived vicariously through them and my heart ached at how beautiful the women were and how I wanted to wear what they were modeling. They were my inspiration. My role models. The women I aspired to look like.

My first attempts at makeup were horrible. My first wig was cheap (it’s important, I feel, to invest in quality) and I looked terrible. Every step I took into this beautiful world was discouraging and was even more so when I acknowledged how far away I was from looking like the women I saw in those glossy pages.

But our presentation takes time, money, and patience.

Over the years I put more work into my appearance. I wore clothes that fit my body, I learned makeup, and I purchased quality wigs. I was still nowhere close to the models I envied but I was leagues ahead of where I was.

Of course, I let go of any expectation of looking like a model or an actress and embraced how I looked. I will never look like them, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be beautiful.

I do a few photo shoots throughout the year. They can be affirming (or humbling) at times. Sometimes a picture can make you take a second look because you don’t believe that the girl in the photo is actually YOU. Sometimes you want to burn the photo to erase any evidence of it.

Whenever I see shots from a photo shoot, I can’t help but think of those days growing up when I wanted to be beautiful, and then feeling discouraged when I attempted makeup or when I tried on a dress for the first time. It was like growing up and wanting to be a professional baseball player but you get struck out every time.

A professional photographer can make you feel like the most beautiful girl that has ever strutted across the planet. The angle of the picture, the lighting, the pose, the tilt of your head, where to place your hands… There’s more to a good picture than just standing there.

The first episode of Wishlist will be posted here next week. This episode shows what happens during a professional shoot and was filmed at Grinkie Photography. You’ll get to see all the behind the scenes action, including how to position myself, when to breathe, where I should put my hands… But mainly you get to see the fun a photo shoot can be. The intention of this video is to, in a way, deconstruct what a session is like. Most of the time I just post the pictures themselves from the shoot, but now you’ll get to see how this happens.

Until then, I am beyond thrilled (and close to tears) to share some of the photos we took that day. I am still stunned that the girl in these pictures is ME. I can’t help but feel that the boy that I was growing up would be amazed looking at these photos. I hope you enjoy them.

Love, Hannah