I am an on-again/off-again crossdresser. I’ve stopped for a long time and keep coming back to it. I’ve told my immediate family but then told them I don’t do it anymore.
My question is I’m not sure if I want to keep dressing and if I start again I really can’t find a place to put my clothes at the moment. Is there someway to stop these feelings of wanting to dress? If I can’t, is there something I can do to alleviate it without having tons of clothes laying around my house?
Hi!
And no.
I do not feel that this is a side of us that we can grow out of. Despite that crossdressing rarely makes life EASIER, I would argue that embracing who you are, and wearing what makes you happy, creates a more satisfying life.
It’s shallow, but a new nightie makes me happy. New panties make me happy. New heels make me happy. Dressing up and going out makes me happy.
I LIKE being happy.
So no, I do not feel that someone can alleviate these feelings. So why fight it?
When it comes to clothes, it’s very easy (and fun) and very expensive to let The Pink Fog influence your behavior and before you know it, you have more clothes than you could ever wear in three lifetimes.
If you decide to embrace who you are and wear what makes you happy, then perhaps do your best to restrain yourself as much as you can. Think twice about buying something, for example. Sometimes when I really really want something, I will go online, click the item and put it in my shopping cart, and wait a day before purchasing it. I am surprised (and my bank account is delighted) at how often I change my mind.
I do think that having clothes in your dresser and closet that make you happy can help with the temptation to shop. When the feeling hits and we want to wear something, it can help to slip into something we already own and avoid purchasing new clothes.
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
Hannah McKnight 
I believe purging is very common. I know I did it for many many times. Finally I accepted who I really am and it all became easier and now I haven’t purged in decades.
Maybe now would be a good time to find a therapist to help you work through these thoughts and feelings.
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I struggled with this for a good 22 years before I finally accepted that Alicia was going nowhere and that it was time to give her a chance. Next to marrying my wife, it was probably the best decision I’ve ever made for myself.
But I purged many times before I finally accepted it. I wish I had a meaningful suggestion besides “it’s inevitable, so embrace it” because that’s much easier said than done.
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those feelings to dress never go away, no matter how much you say to yourself that this is wrong. I have been there several times but the urge can resurface at anytime. I have generally embraced it now and love to dress.
It is very addictive, and when I tell myself that I must not buy anymore clothes etc but if I see something I like, the urge to buy, usually wins
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The desire to be En Femme is so much more complex than just putting on a dress. The clothes absolutely complete the desire, but the want runs much deeper. When I am able to express this part of my spirit, I feel like a whole individual. It is when I have to limit myself to the social scripts that have been written for cisgender men is when my mood and self acceptance is at its worst knowing I am not being who I really am or want to be.
I agree with the comments that buying clothes can be addictive, but although expensive, it is another important part of the En Femme experience to develop ourselves by determining what we like, what suits our bodies, and what style we feel most comfortable in when presenting. Expensive, yes, but I see it as an investment in ourselves. The alternative is to go through many more years of pain denying ourselves of who WE want to be which results in an emotional, physical, and even monetary cost that far outweighs the price of new heels.
I have tried to find balance between my two spirits as I personally strive for balance. Moderation if needed can help with those that are predisposed to addictive behaviors. Sometimes successful, other times not.
Nadine 💜
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I have tried to suppress it and hoped it would go away many times…and yet here I am. With help, I have finally accepted it and now understand it is a big part of who I am. As a result, I am much more comfortable with it and no longer have the feelings of guilt and shame that plagued me for years. For someone who grapples with their crossdressing, the best advice I can give is to confront it head on and get professional counseling. It worked wonders for me. Also, the only thing purging does is waste money and result in giving up things that you may really like….ask me how I know…..
Good luck and best wishes to all who deal with this question.
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I totally relate to putting things in the shopping cart and waiting a few days. My closet is full. It is nice to have a variety of clothes to wear around the house. I can’t stand being in jeans anymore.
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you made a good point on postponing what may be impulsive purchases. Nothing better for your budget than to let that momentary rush pass. I also set a limit to buying things I know I am going to wear when I go out. That keeps me very real about the choices I make.
as for finding ways to restrain the desire to dress, that’s a tough one. Distractions can help.
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I agree totally that the urge to cross dress is a lifetime thing. As it is with me for the last 60 years. But 2 years ago I finally opened up to my primary care doctor and she advised me to start hormone therapy. And lo and behold the urge to cross dress is not as strong as before hormone therapy. I’m just way more comfortable with my deepest inner self with all the changes mentally and physically. And it’s true happiness with no regrets. This is just part of my wonderful journey. Best wishes to all
Michelle
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