Hi! I have a new article for Pillow Talk, a series I am doing with Xdress!
When we come out (and yes, we are coming out when we tell someone about wearing/wanting to wear clothes that are typically not associated with the gender we were assigned at birth), it’s rarely a one time conversation.
Humans change over the years and our preferences and attitudes and perspectives change which influence what we want (or don’t) and how we feel.
Once we accept this side of us, our journey begins. Keep in mind that acknowledging this side of us is not the same as accepting this side of us. Acknowledging is when we realize that there’s something unique/different/special about who we are. Once we acknowledge that, we might try to ignore it, or suppress it, or deny it. Accepting is when we realize that this side of us is not going away, and we then adapt to who we are.
When you go on ANY journey, whether it’s a hike through the forest or a lifetime spanning adventure that focuses on your gender identity, you will change throughout it. It can be small changes, like a hike shifts your perspective on something you’re thinking about, or it can be significant.
I mean, life would be boring if you stayed the same person your entire life.
It’s natural (and I would even argue that it’s important) to evolve. What we want when it comes to our gender presentation almost always evolves. Yes, when we had The Talk, it was about panties. Buuuut a few months passed and we accepted that yes, we REALLY like wearing panties buuuut now we’re daydreaming about what we would look like in a cute dress.
We dipped our toes in the water and then slowly waded in. And it was nice.
But the shallow end of the pool gets a little boring after a while.
Coming out to your partner is rarely, if ever, a one time conversation. Over time your partner’s feelings may shift a little, and they may share their thoughts with you. If your journey is pulling you into a new direction that is different, or even contradicts, from what you shared when you came out, then you need to come out again.
And yes, coming out is hard, and doing it again will also be hard, especially when you open up about wanting something that you said you didn’t want before.
We always owe our partners the truth.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
What a beautiful wonderful post and blog!
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Dishonest (including incomplete) communications have had a huge impact on my life. Looking back, most of my dishonesty derived from fear of rejection and to a lesser extent a fear that I might not get what I wanted if I told the truth. And there was dishonesty to myself owning to a fear of even acknowledging (internally) who I was or might be.
Add all that is a lot of dishonesty and it has detrimental effects on one’s outlook on life and on one’s relationships.
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Sometimes the tough part is being honest with ourselves. That’s why its sometimes hard to have those conversations because we’re not even sure what we want. How do we tell someone else what we want, when we’re not even sure ourselves?
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