The key to life (and walking in five inch stilettos) is maintaining balance.
This is easier said than done and really only comes from trying and failing and learning from the experience.
I turned fifty last week and one thing I like about having lived this long are the experiences I have had which have shaped the person I have become. With age and with experience you learn how to, essentially, choose your battles.
The dilemma of knowing when to bite your tongue and knowing when to speak up continues, though.
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in the United States and is seen as the start of the end of year holiday celebrations. Celebrations often mean family, and family often means people that you only associate with because they are, well, family. I am sure many of us have people we are related to that we would never, EVER choose to be in the same room with if they weren’t family.
When people come together they talk. About the weather, the holiday, how terrible their favorite sports team is doing, and politics.
‘Politics’ has morphed into a very broad topic and includes social justice issues such as the LGBTQ+ community. I can’t speak for anyone besides myself, but I maintain that almost everyone who visits this website falls into that community. Sure, you might be a dude who likes panties and doesn’t think of himself as LGBTQ+, but I feel that (almost) everyone who wears anything that is traditionally associated with a gender that is different from the one they were assigned at birth can identify as queer.
Additionally the nuances of crossdressing/non-binary/transgender aren’t really recognized by many people in the world. To some, a dude who likes panties isn’t *that* different from someone who has transitioned.
What I am getting at is that sometime during the next five weeks or so, there’s a decent chance that someone you are related to will likely say something at a family gathering that will, well, piss you off. I am not out to most of the people in my life so my gender identity isn’t something that the majority of my relatives are aware of. It’s not uncommon for certain family members to crack a joke about people like myself… and people like you.
I imagine this is relatable to many people here.
And I imagine you also have to make those split-second decisions about when to bite your tongue and when to speak up. I believe in standing up for yourself and for others that don’t have a voice. I believe in speaking your mind… but again, we have to choose our battles. I have family members that will never, ever change their mind on certain topics so why bother?
Please know that as you celebrate the holidays you may hear comments that might pierce your heart and make your blood boil. I am sorry that this happens to you, and to myself as well.
Just know that you are loved, you are special, and that there’s nothing wrong with who you are.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
Very well said Hannah, Wishing you a Happy Belated Birthday your wisdom is showing in this post (it comes with age) Have a Happy Thanksgiving and a Great Holiday Season. Darlene
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Hi Hannah, Congratulations on 50! Here’s to another happy healthy and rewarding 50 years! Stay strong for all of us. We need a voice like you. Btw…we haven’t heard from your wife recently. It’s incite-full to understand what our wives are thinking and experiencing. All the best to you, Vikki
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Thank you! And my wife says hi, lol
Love, Hannah
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Yes, those family gatherings can be tough when one subject has an awful view of the transgendered world. So, Hannah turned 50 on 11/16; I turned 60! But life is good.
Bobi
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Happy birthday Hannah while I’m a bit older not sure I’m any wiser lol
Yes today’s politics has become so nasty anymore and the issues around the trans community are just sad
While I have my own opinions on trans women in men’s sports those who are not in that arena suffer because of how out front that issue is
I’m not sure any of this will ever be where we want it to be
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Another thought provoking and engaging post Hannah, thank you.
Being closeted, but in any case, I have to try and tether my responses in life, sometimes completely.
Every now and again, members of the family just have to say something about someone on the TV for example.
One member just has to state whether they think someone they see on TV is gay or lesbian.
Mostly, I say nothing and let things pass but occasionally, I will say something.
The other day I gave them a look, and protested as to why they felt the need to ‘out’ them each time.
They made light of it being their ‘gaydar’ and didn’t think it mattered under the circumstances.
It was not the first time this has happened and it won’t be the last.
Equally, it won’t be the last time I don’t hold back.
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First congratulations, and welcome to the 50 club. I hope you’ve aged better than I have. I’m still going through my “mid-life crisis”, but that’s my issue.
As for family, sometimes those folks are looking to get a rise out of someone. I know several family members who would do these things just to bait someone into an argument. It was funny, how completely ignoring them would piss them off more than anything. So much so that they’d have to ask if you heard them. That’s a good sign they’re just poking for a reaction.
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Hi Hannah. Congrats on the big 50. Remember it’s just a number. I wanted to share my biting of the tongue moment I had recently. I’m about to turn 56 I have a 1 year old granddaughter that I absolutely love. Well my mother who knows I am a CD called me the other day and asked me what I was going to tell that little girl when she finds out I wear women’s clothing. I said well I think I have a few years before I need to worry about that. But what I wanted to say was that I think she will be my number one fan when she does actually find out that I can wear a dress and rock out in some high heels.
Love Jade
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