Changing Lanes

Hi!

I received a lot of comments and emails about Friday’s post and I thought I should expand on my thoughts a little.

I feel I am, for the most part, a mostly positive figure in the non-binary community. I get some criticism once in a while but for the most part I think I am doing all right.

In case you’re wondering, most of the criticism I get is when I post lingerie photos. People have said I am, well, not physically qualified to post such pictures, putting it delicately. Comments like I am not skinny enough or whatever. Other comments tend to be that I am contributing to the stereotype that all of THIS is all about sex and kinks.

I know that some people think that transgender women are just fetishists. I know this. I often write about this. I mean, Friday’s post touched on that.

Some of the criticism I get is that boudoir photos aren’t doing anything to lessen the argument that who we are isn’t a kink. Someone wrote to me asking why I write about my frustrations about trans women being portrayed as fetishists when at the same time I post fetishy photos.

I absolutely see their point. These photos seem counterproductive and even hypocritical to what I write about.

Buuuuut in my defense, I post photos like that for two reasons:

1. I want to show that regardless of your body you can wear whatever you want. You might want to wear lingerie (or anything else) but you might tell yourself that you can’t because you have a penis or you aren’t a size 2 or whatever. You can wear whatever you want even if you have a tummy. Lingerie, like clothes, can (and should) be worn by anyone
2. Honestly these photos are empowering. I love that they represent (to me, anyway) a complete acceptance and embracing of who I am. They are the result of decades of repression and fear being tossed aside. I know I am not a size 2, I know that I don’t have a flat stomach. I know these things and I don’t care. Femininity is not about fitting into specifics

I’m not going to stop posting what I want, but between you and me, these comments really sting since they seem to be intentionally very cruel.

Anyway, Friday’s post was about trying to be more… effective and influential when it comes to the non-binary community and the rest of the world. I wrote about trying to break away from the stereotypes that have plagued our community and wondering if there’s anything I can do to shift the narrative that not all transgender people are confused or fetishists.

Of course, I would be remiss if I didn’t acknowledge that any case I try to make about trans women not necessarily being fetishists could be countered with the aforementioned lingerie photos. Like, if all of THIS isn’t about sex, why do I post sexy pictures? Aren’t these pictures “proof” of the stereotype?

As much as I love doing boudoir shoots, and I have no regrets doing them (as well as no plans to stop), I have to accept the reality that they could be, well, used against me.

So, that sucks.

It’s not unlike a politician running for office and then someone digs up a picture from decades ago that completely derails their momentum and message. How can I argue that THIS isn’t about fetishism when I post the photos that I do? Yes, there are plenty of “normal” outfits but people tend to cite the facts that support whatever point they are trying to make. The sexy photos could be used to destroy my credibility about being transgender ISN’T a sex thing.

Anyway.

Friday’s post has been on my mind all weekend because I want to be a positive representation of the transgender community to not only others like you and me, but to the non-transgender community as well.

My friend Sophie commented on the post that the show we do with our friend Shawna is a positive thing for girls like us. Not only is Wishlist is a fun thing for the Wisher, the episodes are fun for us. But the challenge of Wishlist is getting the participation of others. Sophie, Shawna, and I are raring to go on another episode but a new episode needs someone with a wish who is willing to be on camera and for the video to be online.

Essentially a new episode requires someone to strut far outside of their comfort zone and that is a lot to ask. We knew that finding girls for the show would be a challenge but I didn’t think it would be this challenging.

But again, I get it. Wishlist is a LOT to ask of someone.

For a few hours this weekend I thought about opening up Wishist to others outside of the non-binary community. It’s fun to help others make their wish come true regardless of their gender identity and it might be a fun way to create a form of media that had a transgender host and a transgender crew but the project wasn’t necessarily about gender identity.

However that would go against the goal of Wishlist. The goal of Wishlist has always been about helping non-binary people do something they’ve always wanted to do while presenting as a gender different from the one that they were assigned at birth.

I suppose it’s not unlike this moment from The Simpsons:

So, that’s out.

Right now I am wondering if we should explore a new series in addition to Wishlist. Something that isn’t necessarily about gender but has a transgender host. I have a few ideas but nothing remotely concrete yet. If we go this route anything we create would need to factor in my spicy photos. What I mean is that it would need to be an adult thing. Not adult in the sense of something focusing on sex or anything like that, but something created for a mature audience.

For example, I can’t do a show called Princess Hannah’s Storytime. Can you imagine the backlash and media frenzy there could be if Miss Rachel or the guy who did Blue’s Clues was revealed to have posted intimate photos? Libraries get enough hate for Drag Queen story hour and I would likely be pulled into that fabricated panic.

Of course, I am also wondering if I should just stay in my lane and continue to only focus on the transgender community.

At any rate, thank you for letting me ramble and shed some light on my thinking.

Love, Hannah

P.S. Many of the recent images accompanying my posts have been created by friend (all without AI) Blanca. She now has a blog if you’d like to know more about her!

Love, Hannah