Sybil Minnelli is a long time crossdresser, balancing her kink lifestyle with a vanilla family and work life. She’ll teach you her secrets of crossdressing, how she balances dual lives, and how she switches her presentation between casual, passable, and fetish themes. Ms. Sybil will share her advice on makeup, hair, clothes, shoes and how to get the look you desire. However, she does lead an interactive class and will encourage others to share their secrets as well. Attend as dressed up as you like and enjoy a very safe, friendly and comfortable environment. Be prepared for a lot of fun discussion about reaching your femme side!
This class is held at the Bondesque store at 707 West Lake Street Minneapolis, MN 55408
Whenever I buy a new outfit I usually try it on for the first time in boy mode. When I do this, I end up hating whatever I am wearing, but I also know I will think, and feel, and look different once I have my forms and pads on. Once my body is in femme mode (not that you need to have curves to be feminine), clothes look and feel and fit differently.
When this dress was delivered I tried it on and it fit fine. When I wore it in girl mode, well, it still fit fine, but I realized it was a little too short. I determine if something is too short if the tops of my stockings or the clasp of my garters are visible. If I stood still, then it was fine, but the tiniest breeze or movement was a little much.
I felt a little self-conscious in this outfit but I love how these photos turned out. It might be a short dress but it is still very cute. I hope you like it too!
June is Pride month and with how many businesses changing their social media profiles to rainbows you’d think EVERYONE loved us. And why wouldn’t they? We’re all so cute.
I can’t speak for every single business out there, but if we look at the major chains (such as the Targets and Walmarts and Starbucks of the world), all of them want our money, and they want people to shop at their stores. Of course no store has a written discrimination policy. It all comes down to training their employees to treat every guest/shopper with great customer service. I can’t imagine any company explicitly writing in their training manual to be rude/mean to members of the LGBTQ+ community. That being said, some companies do more than others to make their shoppers feel more welcome and included than others. A few years ago Target announced that guests at their stores are invited to use the restrooms and fitting rooms that align with their gender identity.
However, does this mean every t-girl and crossdresser will have a trouble-free shopping experience at Target? No. Remember, stores are run by people. Stores are visited by people. Target’s corporate policy seems to be inclusive, but the company’s mission statement can only go so far. Sure, the cashier was trained to provide friendly customer service, but if they hate transpeople there’s a chance they’ll be rude to a girl like us, no matter what Target’s policy is. Same thing with customers. The first time I went out en femme I went to Target and the employees were nice, but I wouldn’t be surprised if a customer or two looked at me in a less than friendly way.
When it comes to a local business, I am a lot more confident I am welcome there if they have a “All Are Welcome Here” sign in their window, or something similar. Businesses in more liberal parts of a city are likely to have more experience with someone from the LGBTQ+ community than a more rural area. And yes I know there is an overly generalized statement and there are exceptions to everything. I wish I I could provide a list of all the stores in the world that are friendly to the LGBTQ+ community but that is impossible. Really the only way you’ll know is if you go there and decide for yourself if they deserve your money.
June isn’t only the unofficial start to summer, it’s also Pride month. So, happy Pride to you!
I have met a lot of t-girls over the years, mostly through the MN T-Girls. With almost every monthly event there is a new girl attending and most times it’s their VERY first time out in public en femme. When I find this out, I always like to ask how they’re feeling and what they think. Most of the time it’s a combination of nervousness and excitement, but also, in a way, anti-climatic. Almost as if it’s not a big deal they are out of their living room. To clarify, it’s a big deal to them, but for the rest of the world, it doesn’t seem to be. I remember the first time I went out (and echoes of those thoughts still linger each time I go out) I was certain everyone would be staring and whispering about the “man in a dress”, but that wasn’t the case, and it still isn’t the case. The majority of people are too busy in their own world to really think or care or murmur about someone else. Yes, there will always be nosy and rude people but there are far less of them than we think they are.
And thank goodness for that.
After the initial… well, shock wears off for the new girl and they settle into whatever our group is doing, they begin to come out of their shell a little and relax and get to experience being out en femme, an experience they may have waited decades to have. It doesn’t take long for happiness to shine through. They are finally out of the house! They are talking to other girls like them! They are having a glass of wine at a restaurant or shopping or whatever the group is doing that month. It’s a simple thing, but experiencing it en femme makes it literally a brand new world. Pretty soon their initial shock at being out of their home en femme changes to amazement that they actually did it… and then it’s not uncommon for them to be proud of herself. How beautiful is that?
I am so proud of every t-girl for so many reasons. When she acknowledges and accepts and embraces herself, when she shops for her first dress, watches a makeup tutorial online, gets a bra fitting, comes out to someone, or one of the countless other milestones of her life. Pride is not only about the LGBTQ+ community being proud of who they are as a group, but us being proud of ourselves as individuals. It’s easy to forget that Pride is something other than a corporation changing their social media profiles to a rainbow or a mannequin wearing a “Love is Love” t-shirt at a department store. It’s about US, it’s about me, it’s about you, it’s about our accomplishments, no matter how small.
And our accomplishment is not always something the rest of the world sees. Sometimes it’s that quiet moment when we whisper to ourselves “I am transgender” or that brave moment when we buy a pair of panties. I have had a lot of adventures en femme, but the one thing that doesn’t change is that every little thing I do when I leave the house is an accomplishment. I have bought countless cups of coffee en femme and on one hand it’s become so normal it’s hardly noteworthy… but there could come a time when something I’ve done a million times turns out, well, badly. What if the barista is horrible? What if the customer behind me says something rude or hateful? What if so many things?
We are who we are because we have no choice. Denying our gender identity or what we want to wear doesn’t do anything. We are still a girl like us even if we don’t want to be. I am who I am even if I didn’t want to be who I am. The choice lies in deciding how we react to who we are. The first step in all of this begins with acknowledgment. We have to recognize that there is something more to us than we let on. We need to understand that being curious about trying on a dress is something more than just wondering what it would be like. Acceptance comes next. We stop denying who we are, we stop thinking that this is a phase, that this is something we will outgrow. Embracing who are is the final step in this. Accepting something doesn’t necessarily mean we are happy about it. But we are who we are, and this side of us is wonderful and I am so happy I am who I am. Who you are.
Who WE are.
I am happy with who I am, and I am proud of who I am. Everything I do whether it is buying a pair of panties in boy mode or going to the mall en femme are things that at one point I never thought I would do. Accomplishing these things took a tremendous amount of courage and time and I know whatever you did, whether it was a baby step or a huge strut in stilettos, it wasn’t easy. I hope whatever you did you were proud of yourself, because I’m proud of you.
I have a 45”bust and a 42”waist, what dress size would you suggest?
Every dress is different. Every store, designer, website is different. I am a size 12 with Dress Barn, I am a size L with En Femme.
If you shop online you’ll often see a size chart similar to the one below:
As you can see, knowing your measurements is crucial. Just because I am 12 with one retailer it doesn’t mean I am a 12 with a different store. Based on your measurements you would be an XXL in this chart. Are you always this size? It depends on the designer and the store.
So, how do you take your measurements? Glad you asked.
As much as I care and write about deconstructing gender roles and fighting (in my own way) for transequality, I still, and will always, want to look as femme as possible.
And this is a really good time to reassert that there are no standards one must meet in order to be a girl, to be cute, or feminine. A girl wearing stilettos is just as feminine as a girl wearing flats. A girl with a $70 makeover is just as femme as a girl without makeup.I don’t (and no one does) need to wear a cute dress to identify as a girl.
Okay, now that THAT’S out of the way, I absolutely love and aspire to look as cute and as femme as possible. Although a girl doesn’t have to have a certain shape, I love the hourglass figure a tightly cinched corset gives me. I love wearing cute heels that match my outfit perfectly. I live for the cupid bow on my lips, the seductive look false eyelashes give. I love sexy lingerie under my dress. I love it all.
Although I don’t really know WHY I am wired the way I am, I do know WHY I wanted to wear what I wear all those years ago. When I was young I was simply fascinated by beautiful lingerie, I imagined it would be (and it is!) so much fun to wear a dress. I was drawn to this beautiful and in a way, forbidden, world and jumped in as soon as I had the chance. Trying on my sister’s dress, the first time I wore a bra, the new perspective that stilettos gave me (I was so tall!).
No matter how many times I go out en femme, no matter how many dresses I own, no matter how many makeovers I have, I still get that thrill, that joy, that happiness that I had the very first time I did, well, any of this. I’ll never get used to this, I’ll never get bored. The thrill will never be gone. And I know you know what I mean.
A photoshoot takes a lot of time and a lot of planning and a lot of coordination. The day of the shoot is exhausting and I am spent after a day in front of a camera. Photoshoots require a lot of moving around from location to location, changing clothes (and finding places to change), hoping no one kicks us out of where we are taking pictures, and trying not to look tired as the day passes. Once the day is over and I am back home I tell myself that’s the last shoot for a while, but as soon as Shannonlee sends over the first preview shots then my imagination gets reignited and I start fantasizing about another shoot. MN T-Girl events take a lot of planning and like a photoshoot, I am depleted after the event. But the next day I am just as excited for the next adventure as I was for the last one.
I do what I do, and I wear what I wear because, well, I have to. I can’t ignore, deny, or repress this side of me. I must acknowledge and accept and embrace who I am. To do anything less would chip away at my soul (wow, that sounds dramatic but it’s true). But I do what I do, and wear what I wear because I absolutely love this world, this beautiful world of delicate lingerie, skyscraper stilettos, beautiful gowns, and flawless makeup. I love who I am and I love who you are too.
I am excited to start sharing pictures from my recent “Because I’m Alive” photo shoot from earlier this month.
This was the first outfit I wore and I think it’s a totally cute dress. What makes the dress even more adorable are the matching heels I paired it with. These pictures were taken at Peace Garden in South Minneapolis.
Before I was ready to leave the house en femme I was certain that everyone I would see, and everyone that would see me, would be thinking “OMG that’s a man” or “look, it’s a trans-girl”. I knew that as someone as tall as I am would turn heads, especially in heels. I knew that someone who is (obviously) trans would draw attention. And when I say obviously trans what I mean is that I have a very masculine jawline (especially from the side), large man-ish hands, and other (traditionally) masculine features. I do need to remind us all (myself included) that there are no standards we must achieve to be femme. Women, cis and trans, all look different. Some of us have broad shoulders, some do not. Some are tall, some are petite.
That being said, all I could think about before I had my first adventure was that someone would see me, notice my features, and know that I am trans. Like that’s a bad thing. I love being trans. What I mean is that I was afraid that the wrong person would see a transwoman and bad things would happen. The wrong person could be an acquaintance. but the wrong people I was really worried about were the transphobic jerks who might harass, threaten, ridicule, or hurt a girl like me. Even a sideways glance or a suppressed smile could kill me, depending on the moment.
I used to obsess over where I would go when I was out en femme and not in a fun way. As much as I wanted to go to LGBTQ+ friendly places (such as a coffee shop owned by a queer person or a drag show), I wanted to do “normal” things, like go to Starbucks and pick out a new dress at Target. I wanted to do girl things, not just t-girl things, if you follow me. I used to believe that a t-girl would be, well, out of place at certain stores, especially when I considered the type of customer that would typically frequent the business. I know I am being overly generalizing here but if I wanted to buy a Bible Hannah would never go into a Christian bookstore. A lot of religious groups aren’t the biggest fans of the LGBTQ+ community (even though I feel that’s very hypocritical, but let’s not get into that now). I also tend to shop or eat at more liberal parts of the city. Downtown Minneapolis is a lot more accustomed to a t-girl than a Wal-Mart in the most rural county in the state, for example. And again, I know I am over generalizing.
Fast-forward to a few days ago. I had my monthly MN T-Girl event and I had planned on spending the afternoon out en femme. I scheduled a makeover and between my appointment and when I would meet up with the girls I would do a little shopping and relax in a cafe. Right before my makeover the fastener on my heels stopped cooperating and after trying to fix them I gave up the ghost and accepted I would need to get a new pair for the day. Were I in male mode I could visit any shoe store and pick up a new pair of shoes. But Hannah doesn’t have that luxury. Sure, most shoe stores carry shoes in her size, but I can normally find flats or sandals in her size at most chain stores. I wanted/needed heels for the day and the evening.
So! Where does a girl like me go when she absolutely needs a pair of size 12 heels? There’s a few places in the Twin Cities I can go where I know they’ll carry heels in my size. Since I was limited on time I went to Fantasy Gifts, a small chain store that sells lingerie, videos, toys, and yes, heels in my size. So I went there. Unfortunately the only heel they had in my size was a pair of five inch stilettos, which, given the type of shop it is, makes perfect sense. So having little choice, I bought them. And I love them. They went with my dress, they fit like a dream, and although I was shopping for something a little more… understated for the day, they are a pair that I am thrilled I have in my shoe closet.
I still had some time to shop before I met up with the girls so I went to a thrift store where I usually have some luck in finding something cute. I headed over there (driving in five inch stilettos is a learning experience) and popped into the shop. I looked through the dresses and skirts but nothing caught my eye. The store has a giant mirror and I caught myself and looked back at my reflection. I was surprised (and delighted) that a tall girl like (who was now five inches taller than usual) actually fit in the mirror. But the reflection captured more than a girl in stilettos. The mirror showed a girl who wasn’t afraid or overthinking every little thing she did. Years ago I would have agonized whether a girl like me should go into the store. What would the other shoppers think? Would I make others uncomfortable? Would the cashiers laugh amongst themselves? All of those variables would have caused me to stay in my car, but these days I forget (in a way) that I am a girl like me.
When I am in male mode I never, EVER give what others might think of me a second thought. I just walk into the store, the restaurant, wherever, and I do what I can there to do. In the early days Hannah didn’t have that confidence, that perspective. But today she does. I forget that I am a tall girl in platform stilettos. I forget that I am a transgirl looking at heels and shoes. Ten years ago if someone looked at me in a funny or disapproving way, I would agonize that they were looking at me in an unfriendly way because I am a t-girl. These days if I get that same look I wonder if they are having a bad day. I forget that they are (likely) scowling at me because I am trans.
I look at this as an incredible amount of progress on my part. If only the rest of the world would forget, or at least stop caring, that I am trans.