Hannah Asks…

Last month the MN T-Girls attended a play which told the story of Susan Kimberly, a transgender woman who served as deputy mayor of Saint Paul years ago.  Outside of the theater were these giant reproductions of newspaper articles from around the time the play was set.  The articles had quotes from people that Ms. Kimberly worked with before, during, and after her transition.

One of the quotes really stood out to me, for some reason.  Someone who Ms. Kimberly knew before she came out said something along the lines of how you think really know someone but it turns out that you don’t.

Of course, I am not sure of the context or what the person was feeling, but it felt as if the person who said was… kind of sad.  He could have been making a lighthearted observation or perhaps he was bitter, but it struck me as if he was hurt because he didn’t know something about his friend that was obviously very important to them.

Considering how active my life is en femme, I have come out to what I consider a remarkably few people in my life.  I have come out to roommates, girlfriends, friends, and a small number of family members.  With the exception of my brother, everyone I have come out to is a girl.

I don’t like gender stereotypes and I avoid generalizing people based on the gender they identify with or the gender that they present as, but I find women are easier to talk to.  When I came out to my girlfriend who later became my wife, she summed up who I am perfectly.  “You just like to feel beautiful”.  She could relate to wanting to be pretty.  Although this whole… thing is complicated and hard to explain and hard to understand, she could relate to how I wanted to look and how I wanted to feel.  She understood my frustration when my makeup wasn’t cooperating as well as the power and confidence that comes from a cute outfit.

From time to time I consider coming out to my two best male friends, but each time I decide against it.  I am never sure (but no one is ever sure how anyone will) react to this revelation.  It’s easy to talk to my sister about a new eyeliner, but I doubt my guy friends could understand why a little black dress and stilettos are THE best things in life.

Again, I don’t mean to generalize but… well, I guess I am doing it.

After seeing that quote, I started to think that although my gender identity and wardrobe is not something that they could relate to, who I am, who I REALLY am, might be something that they would want to know.  Not because they would understand or accept, but because they are my friends, and I am theirs.

Although they wear work boots and cleats and I wear pink high heels, if I put myself in their shoes, would I want to know something that is this personal, and important to them?  And I would.  I love my friends and it would hurt if there was something about them that was this significant that they felt they couldn’t share with me.

Coming out is never easy, and everyone reacts differently to this truth.  Often the reaction is influenced by the relationship.  Coming out to your sister is different than coming out to your roommate, for example.

What I am curious about is if you have come out to a guy, whether a brother or a close friend, how did it go?  Do you think coming out was different because they were a dude?

Please comment below, thank you!

Love, Hannah

 

 

New En Femme Blog!

My new article for En Femme has now been posted!

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The latest article with blogger, trans-activist and fashionista, Hannah McKnight is now available on our Learning Center! Hannah’s blog discusses more in-depth her journey as a self-described T-girl.

Love, Hannah

The New World

We are all living in a very different and frightening world compared to a few months ago.  What did we even talk about or think about before COVID-19?

Schools, restaurants, businesses are closed, sporting events and concerts are canceled… this is all very surreal, scary, and bizarre.

Many of us are working from home, our normal routines which we took for granted are upended, we can’t purchase essential items from Target, we are isolated, and in some ways, feeling a little trapped.

Girls like us count on each other for friendship, support, encouragement, makeup tips, and just knowing we are not alone.  Being able to connect is essential, but it’s more crucial than ever.

How are you all doing?  How are you keeping it together?  Please comment below.

Stay safe.

Love, Hannah

LGBTQ+ Resources in New York

If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!

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Buffalo Belles

‘The Buffalo Belles’ is a social support group for transgendered persons in the Buffalo, NY area. We are a group dedicated to sharing our thoughts, feelings, and hopes in life. We are strongly dedicated in creating a peaceful, private, and safe environment in which we can communicate, understand one another, and in doing so better understand ourselves.

Love, Hannah

 

You’d be a Lot Prettier if You…

When I started blogging I wanted to create a site that was a little different than most of the websites that I saw.  The internet is a wonderful way for us to connect with each (and receive poorly written unsolicited private messages that start with “your beautiful”) but it’s also a way for us to write about what we’re thinking, feeling, and wishing for.

Many girls like me were writing about their journey, their frustrations, their accomplishments, and their anguish.  They felt tormented by who they were.  They were conflicted by their gender identity.  I have nothing but sympathy for anyone who is pained by who they are.  I know that who we are complicates our lives and relationships (to say the least) but who we are is wonderful.

And that was the approach I wanted to write about.  I love having two gender identities.  I love who I am.  I love who YOU are.  I wanted to write about the joy of having a femme side, even if it was hidden.  I wanted to touch on who we are in a humorous way.  Who I am, and who you are, is worth celebrating.  Acknowledge this side of you, accept who you are, and embrace it.

Of course, I am not naive and I do not think this is as easy as it sounds.  A few years ago I was walking to a restaurant and the sidewalk was a brick covered path.  My stilettos kept getting caught between the bricks and I was constantly stepping out of my heel.  Although I was looking and feeling amazing, my journey was not without frustrations.  And girls, if that isn’t a metaphor for who we are, I don’t know what is.

I like to think I am well-adjusted, considering my bi-genderness.  I like to think I balance life well living in-between my male side and as Hannah.  I feel content regardless if I am wearing jeans or a little black dress.  I am happy, and I hope that my website conveys that.  Sure, I am frustrated and get depressed at times, whether it is a law being passed that targets the transgender community or something shallow and trivial like my eyeliner not cooperating, but for the most part I am really content.

My sense of humor is pretty dry and often times people don’t know if I am joking or not.  I like to think I am clever and the titles of my blog posts are often a reference to a song lyric or something related to pop culture.  Sometimes I think everyone will get the reference but that is not always the case.  But for those that do, I hope it makes you smile… because it make me smile and I think I am hilarious.

Over the last couple weeks I received a couple messages and comments on Twitter telling me to lighten up.  They had been reading my site for a while and said I was nothing but doom and gloom.  Another told me to smile more.  Of course my reaction was this:

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Instinctively my first response to most things is to be a little bitchy.  But I try not to react quickly and I give myself a little time to respond.  Humor is usually the way I go.  But humor can usually be multi-layered.  This response is an acknowledgment that many men

UM HANNAH NOT ALL MEN

….yes, I know, not all men.  Anyway many men tell girls that they’d be prettier if they smiled more.  This response is a little sarcastic, a little passive-aggressive, and a little dark humor.

At any rate, I was surprised to get these messages.  I like to think my writings are (for the most) a little lighthearted and focuses on the positivity of who we are.  Sure, I have photos where I am not smiling (in an attempt to look like a bad-ass bitch) but I also have pictures that are a little silly.

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I have had many moments in my life where I can empathize with what many women experience.  Whether it is frustration with my foundation being discontinued or with something more serious, it’s quite unnerving to have interactions with some men

UM HANNAH NOT ALL MEN

….yes, I know, God, not all men. It’s quite unnerving to get photos of their… uh, anatomy in a private message, to be approached in public, and to be (awkwardly) hit on, either online or in real life.

When these things happen, my first thought is that I wish they would leave me alone.

Don’t tell me to smile, don’t ask me out, don’t send that picture.

Really.

Love, Hannah

LGBTQ+ Resources in Oregon

If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!

Project Unity at Crossdresser Heaven is also an amazing resource!

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The Rose City T-Girls

The Rose City T-Girls have been established since November, 2007. We pride ourselves on earning respect from the entire community around us through our actions.

We have had activities with over a 100 participants and many times 30 or more. Our activities range from golf tournaments to weekly outings and annual trips to the Diva Las Vegas get together.

We are a very diverse group that ranges from cross dressers to fully transitioned male to female girls. We have had multiple girls complete their transition from start to finish at the same time helping and supporting others transition along the way.

 We are confident we will continue to grow and support the community in all ways. It is exciting to see so many girls that have had the opportunity to find themselves as a result of the group.

 We are and always will be Proud to be Transgender.