Friday Morning Shopping

I don’t know about you, but I am bouncing back and forth between being financially responsible and… well, doing a lot of online shopping.  These days buying a cute dress helps me stay connected to my femme side (and having something to look forward to wearing).

I try to be good, but I’ll admit that the Pink Fog hits me a lot lately.

There’s no question that many businesses are adapting and likely worrying about how the pandemic will affect them.  There aren’t enough resources for girls like us, and when we find a designer or a company that caters our community and supports us, it’s important we support them.

Girls like us are always looking for businesses that are friendly to us, and if we want more businesses to welcome us, then we must support those that already do.

Many companies are offering special sales and discounts during these times, and if you are able, please support these businesses.

I have a few things on order that I am excited to get such as the Blossom lingerie collection from HommeMystere...

 

…the Floral Print Lace Teddy from The Breast Form Store

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…and the Luxurious Leather Look Dress and the 4 Inch Sexy Pump with Padlock heels from En Femme.

What’s in your shopping cart or on your wish list?

Love, Hannah

Ask Hannah!

I have that “guy” shape, almost cylindrical. I saw that you wear hip pads and on Amazon there are a gazillion types and prices. Do you have a type that you’d recommend to get a more feminine shape?

I also have that same shape as you and yes, I wear thigh pads from The Breast Form Store.

I didn’t think that I would ever be a forms/pads girl, but I am never, ever, going back.  Of course, a girl doesn’t need to have curves or a certain shape to be a girl, but my God, I love the way I look.

I didn’t think that pads would make that much of a difference but look at the two photos below.  Both dresses are form fitting but it’s obvious the changes thigh pads makes.  You could read my review of my Jolie Thigh Pads here.

In addition to my shape, clothes fit different.  In most cases they fit better.  Most dresses and skirts were designed for someone with hips and my thigh pads do the trick.  The only drawback, I suppose, is that tights and nylons have to work a little harder to fit as they need to accommodate the pads.

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As you said, there are many options from Amazon available.  Like makeup, you get what you pay for with pads and forms.  Speaking frankly, pads are not cheap, but they are meant to last a very, very long time.  I’ve had my thigh pads for over a year now and I wear them all the time and there’s been no sign of tearing or the adhesive diminishing.  I’m sure there are cheaper options out there, but I believe in paying for quality.  It goes back to one of my beliefs that creating your femme self takes money, patience, and time.

Love, Hannah

Have a question for me?  Oh yes you do.  Ask me here!

The Power of Pink

I was looking at my Flickr account the other day and I saw that this photo was one of my top pictures on my Showcase, which, I assume, is based of off view, likes, and comments.

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I love this photo.  My makeup was done by friend Corrie Dubay and it was from a photo shoot in January 2019 with my friend and photographer Shannonlee.  My legs looks amazing and it’s a cute outfit.  More pictures of this outfit can be seen here.

I love this photo.  I hate this photo.

And this is all going to sound very shallow and I own that.  I also know that my feelings and thoughts are very hypocritical to my core belief: that beauty and femininity has no guidelines, no rules.  There is no such thing as passing, it is impossible to be too “male” to be a girl.

But I’m only human.  I have my insecurities and I get depressed sometimes when I am en femme or see a certain photo.  For every glamorous picture I post, there are five similar shots that are just… ugh and will never be posted.  And that is not Shannonlee’s fault.  I’m the model, it’s my body, my face, my everything.

If you look at anything long or hard enough, you’ll start to notice little things you missed before.  Furthermore, it’s not healthy or recommended to over-analyze or to be super critical of pictures, or of anything, of our femme selves.

But here I am.

So, what do I hate about this picture?  Glad you asked.

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Let’s look at my face.  No matter what direction I am looking or how my head is positioned, my face is my face.  Contouring can only do so much.  I have a pretty strong jawline and it’s not going to be different no matter which gender I am presenting as.  My face looks very male here.  Pointing my head down slightly can usually minimizes my jawline, but I clearly didn’t do that here.  Perhaps I should hire a modeling coach.  🙂

Same with my shoulders.  I look like a linebacker (which is a part of a football team but that’s literally all I know about linebackers).  The pose I am (trying to) rock here contributes to how my shoulders look of course as I am supporting my body with my arm, but my God, my frame is huge.  I am thankful black is a slimming color and de-emphasizes my shape but this picture makes me wish there was a darker color than black.

Next on my list of self-loathing (not really) is my shape itself.  I work hard to stay a size 12 but I have virtually no shape here.  No curves at all.  Thank God for my thigh pads from the Breast Form Store and for my Dita Corset from Glamorous Corset.  Pads, forms, and a corset does amazing things for my shape.  I wish I had these essential items for the shoot the above photo is from.

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Lastly, my hands.  There are many things one can do when it comes to changing the shape or appearance of our bodies.  We can contour our faces, we can wear black, we can wear hip/butt/thigh pads (and I do), we can avoid certain patterns on a dress… but I am very self-conscious about my hands.  I wear rings in an effort to lessen the manly appearance of them and I suppose I could paint my nails more often than I do, but I try not to draw attention to my hands in my shoots but this photo, due to my pose, make it hard to do that here.

Please don’t misunderstand me.  I feel beautiful, I love how I look, I love this picture.  Everyday I get emails from girls like us who try so hard to be beautiful.  Their heart is aching so much as they yearn to be pretty.  I understand.   I relate.  I am very secure with how I look and who I am, but I have days just like anyone where the dysphoria is killing me and I just want to go back to presenting as male and hide under a rock forever.

As much as makeup, a pretty dress, and killer heels can make us feel feminine, they can also make us feel very… male.  As I move from one gender presentation to another, I can see signs of my male self peeking through the cracks of my femme self.  My eyeliner might look amazing, but I also see the bags under my eyes.  My lips might be the reddest shade in the world, but I also see my male jawline.

Makeup and clothes can only do so much.  It’s our attitude that must do the heavy lifting.  Our hearts must also work hand-in-hand with our clothes.  Yes, a pink dress makes me feel more femme than my suit, but if I am constantly nit-picking at every aspect of my face and body (and hands and…. everything else), the pinkest dress in the world is powerless.

And pink is NOT powerless.  And neither are you.  Block out the parts of your brain (and society) that tell you that you are not pretty.  That you are not beautiful.  That you are too male.  At the end of the day, there’s only so much we can do when it comes to our bodies.  Red nail polish is not going to suddenly give our hands the slim, tapered look we may wish for.  Accept it.  Own it.   Move on.  Focus on what you love about yourself.  I may have the manliest hands in the world, but my legs are to die for.

If t-girls had a team color, there’s no question it would be pink.  Pink is considered to be the most feminine hue of the spectrum.  Even “boy clothes” like a dress shirt is commonly looked at as femme.  I don’t support or agree with the genderization of anything, whether it is a color or something to wear, but pink is pretty aggressively feminine.  And thank God for that.

But pink is more than a color for me.  It’s a state of mind.  It’s an attitude.  I wish I knew how to eliminate dysphoria for good, but it’s not possible.  There’s always going to be days, photo shoots, makeovers, pictures… where I feel and look more masculine than I would like.  I acknowledge it, and fight it as best as I can.  It’s not always going to be a fight I win, but if I think pink, in attitude as well as what color I wear, I can hold my head high (even if my head has the squarest jawline in all of humanity) and love who I am.

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

Carmen Liu Lingerie at En Femme!

I heart lingerie.  It was the first piece of clothing that I fell in love with when I was young.  Panties, a garter belt, and stockings were the first things I bought that were truly mine.  I underdress each day, and every morning I wake up in a nightie.

Lingerie is a part of each day and each evening.  But as a t-girl, lingerie can be tricky.  Not every panty is going to fit, and without forms the effect of a push-up bra is lost.  I am very happy that there are options out there for girls like us, and even happier that there are businesses that embrace our community.

But of course, I want MORE.

A few years ago I wrote about Carmen Liu, a transwoman who designed a line of lingerie for girls like us.   I am happy to hear that En Femme will now be carrying Ms. Liu’s beautiful lingerie.

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I’m really happy that we have another option to fill our lingerie drawer with beautiful panties and bras.  A girl can never have too many options.

And yes, I do model and blog for En Femme, but rest assured that I would be just as enthusiastic about this even if I wasn’t partnering with them 🙂

Love, Hannah

Our Feminine Flaw

When I was young, I would think about the things I thought I would need to be beautiful.  A gorgeous wig, makeup, lingerie, a dress, and heels were always on the list.  As I grew older, I started to think about the things I needed to… ah, minimize or downplay.  Things like my adam’s apple, or my broad shoulders for example.  I thought if I ever had the courage to go out en femme, surely something like that would give me away.

Once I realized I would never pass, and that there was no such thing as passing anyway, I stopped worrying about things that would “give me away”.

Although I no longer am concerned about being clocked, I still strive to look as amazing as possible.  Over the last year I had added breast forms and Jolie Thigh Pads from The Breast Form Store to my closet.  For years I wanted to be as… authentic as possible, but seeing what forms and pads can do for my shape, I wonder why I waited so long.  I mean, look at my figure here.

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I have forms that boost my bust, pads that give my figure shape, but besides a tight pair of panties and stockings, nothing to really, uh, help with my feminine flaw.  I have gotten a few emails asking about tucking and gaffs but I never have tried a gaff before.

What is a gaff?  Basically it’s an undergarment that is designed to flatten out a penis and testicles to create a smooth appearance.  Usually a gaff is styled like a thong.

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Thanks to the generosity of The Breast Form Store, I have been sent a variety of styles to review and over the past few days I have been trying them and I’d love to share my thoughts on them.

The Breast Form store has a good selection to choose from, and I’ll be reviewing the Divine Collection and the Gold Seal Collection.

We are likely going into TMI territory here, so proceed with caution.

Wearing a gaff is not a magic garment that will automatically flatten out your genitals.  You need to tuck.  Tucking is basically pushing your genitals between your legs, and usually reaching around to pull them back and then using a gaff to hold them there.

That sounds like it hurts.

But it doesn’t.  If it hurts then you are doing it wrong.  Is it uncomfortable?  Well, no, but you definitely feel it.  Both of these gaffs do a remarkably effective job of holding things in place.

I have worn these gaffs over the past four days doing normal everyday things.  Walking, going up and down stairs, sitting, you know, normal things.  The gaffs kept everything in place.  I got used to where things were.  Again, if you feel any sort of pain, then stop and readjust.

Most gaffs are thongs.  Thongs are amazing when it comes to reducing panty lines in skirts and dresses so when I dress I wear thongs exclusively.

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I have thongs that are made for boys, things that are made for girls, and thongs made for boys that look like thongs that are made for girls.  These gaffs are a new thing altogether in terms of the front panel.  Thongs for boys have extra fabric in the front.  Thongs for girls tend to be narrower in the front.  These gaffs have a wide front panel to make sure that everything is secure.  No matter how much I moved, I never needed to readjust and not once did I fall out.

I also liked that the gusset was wide enough.  The gusset is the fabric of a panty that is between the front and the back, basically the part that goes between your legs.  Since this is where you would tuck your parts, the gusset needs to be able to secure everything in order to prevent you from sliding or falling out.  Most panties and thongs are not designed to tuck, so the gaffs have a huge advantage here.

So, they functioned well.  They were well designed and did the trick in terms of keeping things where I put them.  But how effective were they?

I love leggings and I thought that this was a perfect excuse to wear them for a few days in boy mode.  Normally my anatomy is noticeable when I wear them, but the gaffs, along with tucking, created a very smooth shape.  I was impressed with how effective they were.

I did notice a few differences between the styles.

 

Divine Collection

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I was sent two styles of the Divine collection.  One style was the thong, the other a tanga.  A tanga panty is not a thong, but it does not cover as much in the back as a traditional panty does.  I found that both the thong and tanga style were pretty similar in terms of comfort and tucking.  Both were equally effective in terms of keeping everything in place.  The Divine’s front panel is longer than the Gold Seal which made tucking easier as there was more fabric to push things down.

The Divine style also has a small pocket should you wish to insert a silicone vagina.

Gold Seal

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The Gold Seal style has a shorter front panel compared to the Divine style, but a slightly wider gusset.  Overall the Gold Seal style is smaller and tighter than the Divine style.  It took a little longer to get used to this gaff compared to the Divine style.  Since the front panel is shorter, tucking required a little more effort, however since the gaff is smaller compared to the Divine, and the gusset is wider, I felt that the Gold Seal kept things in place better and provided a smoother effect.

Both gaffs are wonderful and I would recommend either one.  Ultimately I prefer the Gold Seal because it provides a smoother, flatter look, but the Divine is more comfortable.  As a girl who prefers stilettos to flats, I am more than happy to forgo comfort over style.

I used to think that I didn’t NEED a gaff.  And no one NEEDS a gaff.  I didn’t think a gaff could do what a pair of panties or tights could do, but I was very wrong.

Thank you to The Breast Form Store for providing these gaffs for review!  I am excited to include them in my wardrobe.

Love, Hannah

 

 

Stealthing

Fifteen years ago I identified as a crossdresser.  I still do, I suppose, but I prefer t-girl.  I think bi-gender might be a more fitting label, however all these titles fall under identifying as transgender, in my opinion.

Regardless, I went from strictly underdressing to, well, who I am today.  I still underdress, but as I started to add makeup and clothes that weren’t panties and lingerie, I wanted to look as good as I could in dresses and pencil skirts.  I never thought I would want to wear padding or shape enhancers, but I have been completely won over with my Jolie Thigh Pads from the Breast Form Store.  The look is amazing, and feeling my curvier shape is incredible.  I look more natural when I wear them, as seen in the photo below.

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I have worn corsets in the past and I have always loved how sexy they looked, but I wasn’t wearing them for the practical purpose of obtaining a more hourglass look or a trimmer waist.  That changed when I received my Dita Corset from Glamorous Corset a few months ago.  Pairing the corset with my thigh pads and breast forms achieves a shapelier look beyond anything I could have hoped for.

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Seasoning a corset takes time and dedication.  I got used to wearing it in male mode, but like underdressing, I was always conscious of it being visible under my clothes.  The lacy edging of my panties or my bra strap is one thing, but a corset is a little different.

Glamorous Corset is here to help with some tips for ‘stealthing’, basically how to wear a corset in public.  I thought this would be helpful for those of us who underdress in male mode.  It certainly was helpful to me.

Love, Hannah

 

 

 

My Name is Hannah and I Approve this Message

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Yay!  My first published endorsement!

This is the for the Mane Attraction Enchantress Wig from the Breast Form Store which I wrote a review for recently.  I’m having a lot of fun doing these reviews and I have a couple more dress reviews coming soon.  I hope to continue to more projects like this, so if there is something that you think would be a good product to review, please let me know!

Love, Hannah

 

Spring Photo Shoot: Summer Girl

Last week I posted some photos modeling a new ‘do courtesy of The Breast Form Store.  The hair inspired an outfit I put together but never had the opportunity (or courage) to wear.  It was a fun, cute summery outfit that I wasn’t sure was *me* or not.

But a new hairstyle can do wonders and I was brave enough to try a new look.

So, what do you think?

Makeup by Corrie Dubay

Photography by Shannonlee McNeely

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Love, Hannah

 

 

Change Your Hair, Change Your Life!

I have always had dark hair.  The color suited me and it matched my eyebrows.  Black hair was just…me.  However, I’ve always been a little curious about what I would look like if I changed it up a bit.  I recently had the chance to find out.

The Breast Form Store sent me two items to review recently.  One of them was the amazing Jolie Thigh Pads and the other was a Mane Attraction Enchantress Wig

My first impression of the wig was…well, I was a little intimidated.  That sounds rather odd but when you go from a certain hair color and style for a long time it can be a little scary to make a change.  The wig is light brown (the official color is cocoa) and the ends of the hair curled in a fun, playful way.

Although this was a big change from what I was used to, I also was excited to wear it.  The color and style just screamed SUMMER to me.  It sounds silly, but I immediately thought it would be perfect with my new pink skirt and jean jacket.

Wigs are not always easy to buy.  Changing your hairstyle can change your entire look and our attitude, confidence, and how we think of ourselves is often tied into how we feel about how we present yourself.  The first time I tried it on was…well, it didn’t go well.  But that was not the wig’s fault.  If I was apprehensive about changing my look before, I was even more nervous after that.

I put the wig away until it was time for my last photo shoot.  I had my outfit picked out for the wig and I was excited to see if I could pull off a sassy, flirty, summer look.  Do you see what I mean about changing your hair and changing your life?  😉

When it was time to take pictures of my new hair, I changed into the outfit the wig inspired and Shannonlee and I went outside to take advantage of the outdoor light.  It was a beautiful and warm spring day and the sun cooperated magnificently.

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As the photos progressed, I became more used to my new look.  I started to really love how the hair, the sun, and my outfit all seemed to be fueling my mood.  I was amazed by how much fun I was having.

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These shots were the final photos of the day.  I had a few errands to run after the session and I kept the wig on.  I loved how it looked, I loved the impact it had on my mood, I loved that this change was something I could pull off.  I couldn’t help but check myself out in the mirrors at Target and the other stores I visited before going home.

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There are many different options when it comes to buying a wig.  This particular wig is made of synthetic fiber which allows it to be washed if you do it properly.  The lace front allows the wig to blend in naturally and create a natural hairline.  Simply put, this wig does not look I am wearing a wig.

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I imagine I’ll always be a raven-locked girl, but it’s fun to have a new summer look for a few months.

Thank you to The Breast Form Store for providing the wig for this review.

Makeup by Corrie Dubay

Photography by Shannonlee McNeely

Love, Hannah

Spring Photo Shoot: Mesh Dress

A couple of weeks ago I had a photo shoot to highlight some products I was sent to review.  The first review was for Jolie Thigh Pads from The Breast Form Store and you can read my review here.  Shannonlee and I did some pictures against a white backdrop for the review photos, but the dress I wore was so fabulous that we did some photos for fun.  I hope you like them!

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Makeup by Corrie Dubay

Photography by Shannonlee

Dress by Momtuesdays 2 from Amazon

Love, Hannah