There’s no question that we are complex and unique.
And at the same time we are… uncomplicated.
I identify as transgender, but more specifically I suppose I bi-gender would be accurate. I am either HIM or HER. I do not live as one gender, I go back and forth.
I suppose to some that would sound like I can’t decide on WHO I am, or I am conflicted or confused about my gender, but it’s not for someone else to understand.
Although my gender identity is sacred and personal and important to me, I also view it as no different than other aspects of my life. I like both Mexican and Italian cuisine. I like sleeping in and waking up early. I am introverted and social. I am more than one thing, and I don’t see why I can’t be more than one gender.
This perspective is taking something as potentially complex and baffling to others to a very simplification. Of course I know that gender identity and a favorite food are not on the same level, but when I order pasta at a restaurant no one tries to psychoanalyze why I am getting it.
My gender identity is just who I am. I can’t explain it, nor do I think it needs (or there is) an explanation. There is no deep-rooted trauma, no childhood event that is associated with why I do what I do or why I am who I am. Like writing with my right hand as opposed to my left, both of my genders just feels right.
I get a lot of emails from men and women and those who aren’t sure of who they are, or those who don’t feel there is a name how they identify. Most of us don’t wonder why we are who we are. But there is a level of frustration when it comes to others not understanding or accepting who we are. Many times this frustration can prevent us from coming out. In some cases it’s because we know that others can’t look at gender as either THIS or THAT, but in others (such as myself), coming out is exhausting and requires a lot conversation and questions (which is normal and understandable, I suppose) but it’s overwhelming to discuss something endlessly when there really is no reason as to why I am who I am.
So, my question to you today is what do you wish others knew about you? For those of you who have come out, how did you talk about it?