Not For You

My friend Marci and I were chatting recently about men commenting on photos we post online.  Most comments are kind, but of course there are always those that come from men who clearly sexualize and fetishize girls like us.

These comments are beyond the typical “ur sexy” comments but are oddly specific when it comes to being dominated by a girl like us or someone’s obsession with our feet.  Really?  Feet?

These responses are usually pretty easy to ignore and one would hope they are relatively harmless.  I do get annoyed at how they can contribute to the overall fetishization of our community and can influence the thinking that we are who we are for some sexual reason.  Who I am might be your fetish, but it is certainly not mine.

I am who I am for me, I am not who I am for you.

Love, Hannah

11 thoughts on “Not For You

  1. Hannah,
    We all dress for our own reasons, and as a CD that dresses to experience the sexual side of being fem, it’s easier to understand why so many men think and comment the way they do. I enjoy someone thinking Haley is sexy…even if it’s just my feet🤣

    Love you attitude and style, please stay safe,

    Haley

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  2. “Your feet!”, you say? I have been alive 70 years, and like to think I have been paying attention for at least 55 of those years. (“Which 55?” you might ask. “Hard to say”, I would answer.) It seems to me you can pick out a random body part, and there are people who think it is max sexy. Perhaps there is even an on-line group that meets to discuss/giggle over it, with explicit pictures.

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    1. Perhaps? No. Without a doubt, there is an entire underground industry devoted to the image and subsequent sale of those images of toes and feet.
      Freud commented great many persons merely sublimate their ‘fetish’ into a viable profession, such as in this case, podiatrist, foot orthotics, shoe sales, mani-pedi technician, ect…
      Not my thang.
      Velma

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  3. “It takes all kinds to fill the freeways”.– (quote from The Playboy Advisor)

    If persons ‘project their fetish on you, Hannah, well, it just goes with the territory.and at the very least they do add to the numbers who do click in on a regular basis.
    In all due respect, you really DO look GOOD in those vinyl/leather outfits….I am quite sure those vinyl/leather aficionados already have your photo……
    As the psychoanalyst Jaques Lacan stated: “We project our sense of SELF on the OTHER.” And those others, are well, merely projecting on you!
    At the least expense to yourself and self image, please do not feel bad over the ‘classless masses’,projecting their issues on you. This projection by fans is typical of anyone in the visual arts medias, perhaps you should feel as ‘you are a STAR’ inside this milieu., and ignore the unwanted overtures. Just think of what Taylor Swift goes through….

    For those of you who have further interest in the infinite diversity of the human mind regarding the symbolic nature of our selves and our sexuology:
    Do check out the book “The Deviants” by Dennis Diclaudio –” Pocket guide to the outlandish sexual desires barely contained in your subconscious.”
    Why would you need this book in your pocket? This aint like birdwatching, you know!
    Also, look into the Vice News videos under the header NSFW, Tre kinky!
    My favorite is the trans girls in the video ‘Cat chateau’; a B&B for those who like to dress in the ‘feline feminine’.
    My interest in the entirety of this subject goes to my own search for myself, and as to why I am who I am. In the ‘dark days’ before the internet, one had to skulk about university libraries and card catalogues in the hope of finding some speck of info as to ‘why’, and always be fearful that the library staff would somehow ‘catch on’.
    Nowdays, a youngster can learn more in 25 minutes on the internet, than I could have learned in 25 years of ‘anxious search’.
    Have you heard the old graduate level joke:
    “Research is ME-search” ?
    Best regards,
    Velma

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  4. I wanted to bring up the relevance of Lacanianism here, but Velma beat me to it. Both “phobia of the known” and the “play of the oppossite”, I heard are rooted in projection. Whichever bioligical part of me (and anybody) whoever finds attractive (or repulsive), I demand dignity and respect. My shirt buttoning over to the left does not mean I am ready to prostrate at the snap of a finger.

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  5. Goes with the territory unfortunately.

    I try to be conscious of what’s going on around me. But I do get lax. Perhaps that’s having been fortunate in not having many significant incidences.

    I don’t consider myself passable – other than perhaps from the other side of the room. Or someone walking by that isn’t really paying attention, which seems to be most of the people. About 18 months ago, coming out of the bank of all places. I didn’t see him until he was literally face to face with me a few feet from my car… didn’t see him walking in, didn’t see him in front of me in line, didn’t see him in line when I walked away from the teller window, or when I walked out the door.

    Walking up to my car he was out of nowhere in front of me trying to tell me he’s from Europe, and he really likes girls like me, and he’s okay, shoving some piece of paper at me, he just wants to give me his phone number and buy me a drink.

    Do you understand no? Oh dear God get away from me, get away from me.

    It more than ruined the entire day. I feel violated just thinking about it.

    Sophia

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