Hannah Asks!

When the seasons change we can look forward to different outfits.  I know that’s a little shallow but it’s still the truth.  I love cute minidresses but there’s a lot to be said for sweaters and cute skirts and boots, too.  However, after a few months I am ready for a new season and new styles and I’ll be longing for the days of minidresses again . The cycle will always continue.

Winter is usually a little hard, especially here in Minnesota.  It gets cold and it lasts entirely too long.  How long will winter last?  No one knows.  As of this writing the high today will be close to the 40’s (which is warm for this time of year) and there’s not a single snowflake to be found.  On the flipside winter could last until April, so there’s that I guess.

It’s easy to feel cooped up in the winter.  Going out is more work and wearing a winter coat makes me feel and look bigger than I am and it covers up my outfit.  Again I know this shallow, but it’s true.  And!  Icy sidewalks and stilettos are not a good match.  

The next month (and likely beyond) will be even more stressful and depressing than usual as COVID is (and should) trigger more restrictions and shelter-in-place orders.  When most states experienced this in the spring it was hard but as time passed the weather improved and although we couldn’t do too much at least we could dress up and get outdoors.  The first few times going out en femme this year after too much time indoors under lockdown and winter was absolutely blissful.  It wasn’t easy but we got through it.  I’m feeling anxious already about the next few months.  God only knows when winter will end and when it will be safer to go back to normal.  In male mode I can tough it out, but Hannah?  It’s not going to be as easy.  

As someone who is bi-gender I have a need to express my femme side.  To live in her world from time to time.  To dress up and hit the mall.  I can, and I do dress at home but it’s not the same.  

Although I feel that this winter will be harder than the spring was, part of me feels more prepared than I was earlier this year.  It’s important to have something to look forward to.  It’s important to know you will live through something when you have already done so.  Hannah made it through the first part of the year and the first wave of lockdown and I know she and I will do so again.  When I am feeling anxious or depressed about not going out I can recall how wonderful it was the first few times Hannah stepped out when restrictions were eased and the weather improved.  

When you are going through something difficult or something that causes anxiety or depresses you it’s crucial you acknowledge it.  Denying or ignoring something only works for so long.  I think one of the hardest things about this year was adjusting from waiting for all this to pass to accepting that things were very different and the previous life we knew is over.  Even when the vaccine is available and masks aren’t required when we leave the house the world is going to be very different than how it used to be.  In some ways it will be better, I hope.

I don’t know what the world will be like in six months and that causes a lot of anxiety.  I am used to knowing, more or less, how my year would play out.  When I would travel for work, what holidays would look like, and what to look forward to.  This year all of that has gone out the window and I couldn’t even guess what the next two weeks will be like.  Despite all of this, I feel better prepared emotionally and mentally for the next few months than I felt earlier this year.  I know what the spring was like and how wonderful it was the go out en femme when some of the restrictions were lifted.  I suppose I have that to look forward to.  That day is (eventually) coming.  

Collectively we are all going through this.  But our little community has our femme side to take care of too.  For some of us we aren’t able to dress at home so going out is our only opportunity to do so but going out isn’t the same anymore.  Some of us can only dress at home but with their kids doing school remotely it’s not possible to do that.  Taking care of ourselves, whether in a pandemic or not is essential.  Taking care of our femme selves is also crucial.

I’m curious as to how you all are doing right now.  I’d love to know how you are preparing for the winter and this new round of restrictions.  

Love, Hannah

7 thoughts on “Hannah Asks!

  1. Well, seeing as you asked… 🙂

    I’m hoping to keep in touch with trans friends via video calling. We try to have a chat each Thursday between meetings.

    As our local Trans group falls within the support category, we’ve been able to stay open. Okay, it’s face masks, social distancing, and no tea (the horror! 😁), but we are getting by.

    Like you, I would like to get outside and see the world as all of me, but that’s just not an option due to home working and family commitments.

    I try to look at what I do have in my life, rather than what I don’t.


  2. It’s very cold here as well (New Mexico), and we are under a very strict lockdown and will likely be until Spring. I (Alice) am lucky to be able to work from home, and so I’m using the opportunity to live en femme for the duration. But the big project I’ve taken on to get me through the winter lockdown is to learn how to do my nails and makeup–especially my nails. I used to do my own nails back in the day, before there was a nail salon on every corner, but since then have relied on salons instead (my big treat pre-pandemic was to go to a salon for a mani/pedi). How’s it going? Well, it’s been a process, with some occasionally laughable results. But just wait! By summertime I’m going to have the prettiest nails in town. Or die trying!


  3. I am doing fine, all things considered. I dress from time to time and stay home, sequestered in my office (per the House Rules). Every 6 – 8 weeks I get out for a bit – a joyous occasion! Looking forwards to the vaccine, although I know I will not be high on the priority list.


  4. I always love when the cold air comes in, it’s pantyhose, tights, slips and ful body garments, I feel more sexy in winter, please Hannah, go easy on yourself in your blogs, you will give yourself a period!! HA HA. CD BILLIE IN FLORIDA


  5. I’m not seeing the Winter as being that rough to get through. I’m long past the years of enjoying outdoor sports in the Winter, so I tend to stay in, anyway.

    More and more groups are popping up with regular Zoom gatherings, including several support groups. Remember, you can look beyond your normally preferred driving range on the internet. 🙂 I’ve been with a great group of folks from Detroit most every week.

    I hope to get to the point of working en femme, but most of the time it is a day in the covid robe outfit. And, I’ll likely be doing the grocery shopping and such en femme.

    I’m also going to use some of the time to plan things for next year. And to improve myself, such as trying some voice work. All in all, it should be a busy Winter.


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