An Apology

There have been so many moments where I have felt…  what I do is trivial.  Perhaps almost inappropriate.


As world events unfold and I see history happening, writing about what I write about feels a little tone-deaf.  Like, why am I writing about lingerie when (insert current event) is happening?


It’s impossible to not feel something when something is happening.  Yesterday I woke up feeling exhausted and frustrated and I began to compose something to break up the Ask Hannah posts that I’ve been doing over the last few days.  


I meant to write about comfort.  Not necessarily comfort in the sense that flats are much more comfy than 4 inch stilettos (that’s not why 4 inch stilettos were invented), but what we turn to when the world feels dark.  The thing that unites our community, regardless of anything else, is that we have a side of us that needs to be taken care of.  


When I sat down to write I meant to talk about how there’s a favorite nightgown I wear when the day was a little rough.  A pair of panties that I wear when I know it’s going to be a long day.  A dress I wear when I am feeling too…. male and I want to feel cute.  I wanted to know what you turn to when the day is not going how we had hoped it would.


But it went out the window.  As I typed I let my frustration and sadness of current events overwhelm me.  I believe in what I said but after sleeping on it I have decided that it’s not what my website is about.  


I want to create an inviting space for all of us.  And what unites us?  Makeup.  Lingerie.  Heels.  Dresses.  The longing to belong.  


I have taken the post down as I don’t think it contributed to anything helpful.  I still stand by my feelings but I regret the harshness of it.  I regret and apologize for turning anyone off. 

Even if you agree with me, that’s not why you visit my site.  I’m sorry for letting those opinions and feelings take over.  I am honored and privileged to do what I do and I recognize that this side of us is a refuge from the world sometimes.  It’s ironic that I meant to write about what we turn to when the world isn’t cooperating and ended up writing about the very thing many of us want to take a break from.   


I want to thank you for your emails and comments of support, but also your honesty.  Some of you agreed with me, some of you didn’t, but the ones that were the most helpful and enlightening were the messages simply stating that you come to my site not for current events (that have nothing to do with being trans) but for what I normally post about.  I appreciate and agree with your perspective and I thank you for that. 

 
Tomorrow we return to our regularly scheduled program.


Thank you.
Love, Hannah

18 thoughts on “An Apology

  1. I also did what you do on my own blog, with a slightly different slant. It is work and there is that satisfaction of a job well done. We bring a feeling of normalcy to our readers, a feeling of community. That in and of itself is very important. So just keep being you. Just keep doing what you do, it matters.

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  2. It’s okay, Hannah. We’re 3-dimentional human beings and not just the 2-D images guys like to drool over. If it’ll reassure you, please know that your words in that post were on-point, even uplifting. I hope this praise will give you some comfort in how you’re feeling today. Take care. 🙂

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  3. hello Hanna so what is this you are not having the site any more and not writing to us? i love reading your posts. it inspires me to read your post when they come up.

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  4. Thank you Hannah for the new post. I did not want to hear about current events on this site and almost unsubscribed to it. I am glad I didn’t.
    I just pray working together vs. fighting each other will be the future.
    Take care and keep enjoying life.
    Kristine

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  5. Yes, we come to your site for its characteristic content. That is also why I tell you to sort those wonderful illustrations that you did for quite awhile and publish them in a book.

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  6. FWIW, I don’t think you’ve let anyone down. You’re human (obvs 🙂) and as such, will have on days and off days. As someone overseas looking in, I can’t imagine what it must be like for folk living in America.

    “…after sleeping on it I have decided that it’s not what my website is about…”

    Hey, it’s your site and you write about what you need to, Hannah. Given the history we are living through right now – COVID19, dramatic changes in politics, MeToo, and Black Lives Matter, etc – I think it’s understandable to want to address some of those things. Your point of view as someone on the Transgender spectrum is important as it’s likely to be a voice not heard in the media.

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  7. Hannah, you are human. We all are.

    As a largely off-and-on “lurker” in the background, I’ve never felt that you blog was “off-topic” for any length of time, or in danger of turning into a political blog. I did see the post. I don’t remember the “details.” The occasional veering off-topic, speaking in terms of stereotypes, have left me feeling that it’s more than “Chrissy Snow’s blog.”

    Having said that… if taking the post down felt like the right thing, then it was the right thing. I don’t think you have let anyone down.

    Much love
    Sophia

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  8. A man or a woman or even a chimera of both together [I’ve known 2, true hermaphrodites], can be a “mensch” and you are exactly that, a good person. The clothing or the fetish is about comfort, and about having a refuge to rest and deal with the hard business of living. It’s real cream in your coffee, it’s tylenol and a nap for a headache, it’s the unspoken pat on the head or arm of a pet or a friend. Keep blogging sweetie; the world needs your insights.

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  9. Dear Hanna, as I live on the other side of the world from you I feel your pain. My love of seeing myself dressed as a pretty woman is my comfort that the world is and will be the beautiful place we once knew. Your last blog just shows us all that you are human and a beautiful soul,
    Lots of love Petra

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  10. I did not read what you wrote but yes for me yours and Kandis blog are escapes for me much like watching a movie that I like just to forget any world events
    I think we all need escapes
    Thanks for the work you put into this

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  11. I don’t think you need apologise. I thought your post was very relevant and of proper concern to trans people. It’s your blog so present whatever you wish. Your humanity has always been a light in our community and I am sorry that you have had so much upset. Hugs. Sue x

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