I am a meticulous planner. It drives my wife up to the wall sometimes and I absolutely understand why. I budget my time and I usually have my entire week planned out in advance. It’s sometimes helpful however it usually drives ME up the wall as well, but it’s how I’m wired. Like my gender identity, I am powerless to fight it so I may as well embrace it.
I’ve been posting like CRAZY lately as I am sure you’ve noticed. I had expected to travel for work a lot more often this year than I’ve ended up actually doing so I’ve been home more than I had thought I would be. This extra time at home has allowed me more time to rest, get things done around the house, and yes, blog blog blog.
Sometimes my updates are influenced by an article I wrote for En Femme getting posted on their website and I will link to it. Sometimes my articles are planned in advance, like posting reviews on a set schedule. If I have a few ‘Ask Hannah’ questions I try to space them out. I will also space out posting pictures from a recent photo shoot so I am not inundating ya’ll with day after day after day of photos of different outfits.
Other times I have no idea what I will write about. I like to start my day quietly and slowly. I wake up early and have a little coffee and mentally prepare for the day. This is when I will usually write a post or catch up on emails. If I don’t have a planned article or a pressing thought that I want to write about, I more or less spin the roulette wheel of different topics that occupy my mind if I feel like writing. These potential topics include clothes, recent legislation, clothes, the different complexities and joys our gender identity can bring, clothes, relationships, and clothes.
Today is one of those days. I just finished a cup of coffee, I am caught up on emails, Taylor Swift is playing, the sun is coming up but still too early to take the dog for a walk… it’s essentially the Perfect Blogging Moment. So, what will I write about?
To be clear, I never want to post just for the sake of posting. I do my best to create engaging content that is hopefully worth a few moments of someone’s day. I also try to balance out posts that address the different topics I write about. I write about legislation but I try not to post about politics two days in a row. I write about lingerie but I don’t want EVERY post to be about panties. I also want to avoid coming off as more egotistical than I already appear to be so I try not to do too many self-indulgent or self-promotional posts. However, posting on a consistent or a frequent schedule is pretty essential when it comes to having a website and cultivating an audience.
Anyway, let’s spin the wheel.
This is a mental wheel. I don’t have a giant Wheel of Fortune type… thing in my living room. But I’m sure you know that.
This spinning wheel, the randomness of what I write about is always a minefield. When I write about stilettos I get emails calling me shallow. When I write about legislation I get emails telling me that I am a left-wing socialist whack-job. When I post photos I get emails saying that I’m an attention seeking bitch. Seriously I don’t know why some of ya’ll visit my site, lol.
The wheel is sloooooowing down and it looks like we’re chatting about…
Clothes.
Well, of all the options this was the most likely. But this isn’t a OMG I HEART PANTIES post. No, it’s a little less superficial than that. But goodness some of you are going to be pissed off.
A frequent topic on forums and in chat rooms that discuss crossdressing is why cis women “allowed” to crossdress but men can’t.
The reality is that no one is prohibited from crossdressing. Just wear the dress if you want. Stop letting society prevent you from wearing panties. Yes, you may get teased and pointed at (or worse) but since when are you dressing for the rest of world? Dress for yourself. Crossdressing is legal (as of this writing, anyway).
But I understand what they mean. It isn’t socially “acceptable” for a man to wear a dress or a skirt or paint their nails. But who cares? I don’t need anyone’s approval to wear what I want.
It will never be okay. And here’s why.
Many men (and yes, not ALL men so please calm down) think that anything feminine is a inferior or weak. Girls cry, girls wear dresses. Men are taught it’s embarrassing to be associated with anything feminine, whether it is an emotion or a piece of clothing. Men can get ridiculed by other men for having pierced years or long hair.
So, long story short, until men change the perception that feminine=weak, men will never be “allowed” to crossdress. Sorry to say but by and large men control the narrative on this.
And yes, not all men and yes, some women ridicule men who are wearing a dress so it’s not as black and white as I am suggesting it is so you can hold off on the “what abouts” and “this one time” comments and emails.
Is this fair? No, of course not. Clothes should not be genderizied, people should be able to dress how they choose and be free of being teased (or worse). But there are a lot of things about gender that aren’t fair. It’s not fair that all states have at least a 10% lower median pay for women compared to men. So, yes, there are a lot of things that need to be equalized.
Women are “allowed” to crossdress (i.e. wear pants, etc.) because it’s… well, normal for women to wear pants. Society, for the most part, has accepted that women are “allowed” to wear pants. However, this wasn’t always the case.
Women fought tooth and nail to wear pants.
Society did not one day collectively decide it was okay for women to wear pants. This did not happen suddenly or without consequences.
If we want the same societal acceptance to wear a skirt that women have when it comes to wearing pants, wonderful, then we had better start fighting for it.
I don’t view a cis women wearing pants as crossdressing. Pants have been “de-genderized”. Women did that. Women waged and won that battle. And honestly? Good for them. If my wife is wearing jeans she is wearing “girl jeans”. Jeans that are designed for the cis woman’s body. If men want a skirt to be de-genderized, it’s a battle that men will have to fight.
And yes, like pants designed for women, there are panties that are designed for men but panties, and every item of “girl clothing” have a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way to go when it comes to being de-genderized. When I am wearing a dress or a pair of panties, it’s entirely possible that I am wearing “girl clothes” that are designed “for men”. But clothes are clothes and some of my clothes are designed for the body type, or the body parts that I have.
Of course some cis women buy “boy clothes”, clothes that are designed for a cis male body, whether it is a pair of pants or a hoodie or whatever. And dammit, that’s their right. Women fought for that.
Of course, on the flip side, it’s also a man’s right to buy heels if he chooses to do so.
I get tired of hearing complaints that women can wear whatever they want and men can’t. It’s not true. Women are unfairly criticized for their clothes constantly. Women are told they need to dress more feminine, they are told they dress too provocatively, told to cover up, told to show a little skin, actresses and journalists are destroyed in the media if heaven forbid they wear the same outfit more than once. Women weren’t even allowed to wear pants in the Senate until 1993. I have editions of books that are older than that.
We are constantly hearing stories about girls in high school not being allowed to wear certain clothes because it is too “distracting” for boys. A girl should wear what she wants. This is not a lesson for our daughters. It’s a lesson that we need to teach our sons that they need to stop objectifying women and to start respecting them, no matter she may be wearing. I am not religious but even the Bible said “and if thine eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: it is better for thee to enter into life with one eye, rather than having two eyes to be cast into hell fire.” The terrible grades I earned in high school were because I was daydreaming and choosing not to study, not because the girl next to me was wearing a tank top.
So, let’s MAYBE stop complaining that women are “allowed” to crossdress or wear boy clothes. On some level women aren’t even “allowed” to wear girl clothes and are told that the skirt is too short or that that top is too revealing. Jesus Christ, just leave women alone.
I’m sure women would love for EVERYTHING to be equal between all genders, whether it is salary or wardrobe options or access to health care.
Women fought for the right for women to wear pants. If men want to wear skirts we must be willing to fight for it. Complaining, whining, ranting online, calling it unfair or a double-standard gets us absolutely nowhere. Societal acceptance when it comes to clothes won’t come easily and it won’t happen quickly. We must change how women are viewed. We must change the mindset that women, that anything feminine, whether an emotion or an article of clothing, is inferior. And again, yes, I know not all men think this way.
So, what do we do first? That is another topic, another cup of coffee, for another day. But I will tell you this: the fight for clothing and gender presentation equality will be a long, messy, hard battle that will take massive changes in our political leadership, expanding LGBTQIA+ protections, and challenging conversations, so let me know when ya’ll are ready for a revolution.
I’ve always said crossdressing takes time, patience, and money. But this is for the… hm, practical part of crossdressing. The “right” to crossdress will take much, much, much more than that.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
Good post Hannah.
I think the idea of masculinity is safely entrenched in societies around the globe.
Males rule.
And even women believe it.
A woman can wear pants, sure, it’s almost cute that they might want to emulate some of the things men do. Who could blame them? After all masculinity is the very top of the tree.
Just as long as they know their place.
BUT, any man who would show any female weaknesses is a real threat to that entrenched view of masculinity.
Thus the patriarchy is far more at risk by men exploring any aspect of femininity than by women wearing jeans.
And women buy into that too and support the male call for masculinity to be enforced by all males.
It all makes sense….until it doesn’t.
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Hi! To be clear, I don’t think cis women are wearing pants in an effort to emulate some of the things men wear. I think women wear pants because they want to wear pants.
Love, Hannah
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One of the very nice things about reading your blog (every day!!) is that it creates a real sense of community between me and you, and with those I imagine who are also reading your posts. It is a nice feeling to have this sense of shared experience.
The topics you select to address are all fine with me as it is precisely your selections that make it your blog. You have a point of view that is your own, not someone else’s, and that is what I am looking for in your, or any other individual’s blog. Stana tells it like Stana, Kandi tells it like Kandi, and Hannah tells it like Hannah. Celebrate our individuality within the shared experiences of a community.
In the current social and cultural climate in the United States, and in much of the western hemisphere, women are generally ‘allowed’ to be more expressive in their dressing. Women’s clothing styles are wonderfully diverse and often flamboyant. Most typical men’s clothes are pretty dull in comparison. Men’s clothes can be very well made, well designed, and elegant, but they are still pretty dull in comparison with women’s clothes. I am guessing that most of ‘us’ really like women’s clothes because of this difference, and also because they were made for, designed for girls. I look at photos of wonderful women’s fashions and just want to wear them all, for different occasions, for different looks.
Onward!
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I use to use this argument with my ex, that why can’t I dress in female styles, women wear mens styles all the time
Well it didn’t work or change her mind, I mean she’s my ex, lol
Anyway it’s interesting you write about this today as just this morning I went to the grocery and what did I wear
A top from VS there Pink brand and pair of ladies shorts, not real short a bit of lite makeup and no wig just a cap.
Not real feminine but it was just me being me, gender fluid and as I like to say I felt at least in my own mind was representing the LGBTQ folks
Of course not the full on fem expression but I felt good
So great content today
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In regard to pay, for example, MN gov’t. pays the same for all positions – there is no difference – if a man is making more, it is because he is on a higher step – has been in the job longer. You are being duped by Liberal Demonrat bullcrap! The gap, btw, is like 3%, overall in the country, and this is because more men have been in their jobs longer, have more experience and time in that particular job. You are saying that a woman starts out with less pay – Step 1 – than a man? Not true. Step 1 pays the same in every job. In fact, because of reverse discrimination, called Affirmative Action, I was screwed out of a promotion that I should have had over a woman with a lot less experience because she was in a protected class – a woman!! Nonsense!
If a man has more experience, time, maybe education as well, he should start out with more pay in some instances. Just like a woman should in this case, and does as well. Of course, if one takes averages of the worker’s force in regard to salaries, men will make an average of more money because of these factors I mentioned and other ones as well, not because of discrimination due to gender. In fact, I could have gotten further in my job if I could have identified as a woman – now isn’t that unfair as heck! The Director was a woman and she hired mostly women! Just like Obama hired mostly Black people to be around him. Didn’t go by qualification, which should be one of the largest deciding factors in hiring and promotion, not one’s color, gender, etc., just like MLK preached!
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totally agree re “many men'” despising anything feminine. still wonder re; the reverse i.e.. why do many women have no trouble with us and are rather accepting?
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When I made the step from wearing lingerie to feeling comfortable in makeup and proper clothes, my wife said “oh, you just like to feel beautiful.” It clicked for her, she was able to relate. I think, generally speaking, many women understand the desire to feel beautiful.
Love, Hannah
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If your going to quote the Bible, try the quote from ‘Deuteronomy 22:5’
“A woman shall not wear a man’s garment, nor shall a man put on a woman’s cloak, for whoever does these things is an abomination to the Lord your God. “
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Touché.
Love, Hannah
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being a fan of Deuteronomy I wonder if ANON avoids shell fish which is also prohibited
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Yes so many want to quote that one verse and just ignore all the other such items on the list that are in that chapter
As a Christian I’ve learned to read such things in the context in which they were written
That particular chapter was about changing the Jewish nation from being in the pagan society of Egypt to how God wanted them to honor Him with many things
However nobody could keep the law and so Christ came to free us from it by His death and resurrection,
It doesn’t however mean we just ignore the many practical items that were written in the law, such as the 10 commandments
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