Ask Hannah!

 i am a long time closet cross dreser, my wife knows of me cross dressing, she has seen me dressing up and tells me when i can dress up. she has given me a dress that does not fit her or her friend, so she gave it to me thinking it would fit. yes, it does and i told her. she will not let me sit in same room as her and talk like 2 females. i under dress a lot and have more female cloths and make up and perfume then she does and even dress up like a female should. not pants and shirt look. she cross dresses like a man so why can not i dress like a female. i only dress up when our last adult child is at work. when i dress up i feel great about my self and look pretty. foundation and cover up i don’t know how to apply them just yet. how can i get my wife to under stand the cross dressing world? she seen me dressing up but will not be more excepting to my cross dressing. she know and lets me dress up, but will not let me sit in same room is what i don’t understand. thanks for your time

Okay, let’s jump in.

It’s not a surprise you have more clothes than your wife. I know I do and I wouldn’t be surprised if this was true for many crossdressers. Please remember that femininity is not a competition. You are not in a contest with your wife when it comes to your wardrobe, makeup, or perfume.

Women can dress however they damn well please.

and

There’s no such thing as a woman dressing like a woman should.

We good?

There’s nothing you can do or say to get your wife to understand your crossdressing besides communication but even that isn’t a guarantee. This is not the same thing as acceptance. Crossdressing is hard to understand, it’s hard to put into words. I don’t even understand why I crossdress and I have been doing it since I was in kindergarten.

It sounds like have your wife’s acceptance and I would rather have my wife ACCEPT my crossdressing than UNDERSTAND my crossdressing.

She may be aware you crossdress but this side of us is a lot to ask and she likely struggles with this side of you. It may be difficult for her to see you dressed up, even if she knows that you do. Be patient with her, be gentle with her, be kind to her. Be worth it.

And listen to her.

And accept that she may never be comfortable with seeing you dressed.

Almost all of us want MORE from our significant others when it comes to this side of us. In all honesty you have more than most crossdressers have when it comes to your relationship. I mean, your wife KNOWS you crossdress. It doesn’t sound like she is trying to STOP you from crossdressing. And goodness, she GAVE YOU A DRESS. So many crossdressers would love for their wife to give them a dress. If she doesn’t want to see you dressed, then perhaps you need to drop the idea and be thankful and grateful for what you have.

Love, Hannah

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5 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!

  1. Hanna Mcknight thank you for the responds on this question, i will keep that in mind, yes she gave me a dress that her friend gave her and gave it to me thinking it might fit and like saying go ahead and dress up i am good with it, but knowing she is not, she is just saying you can dress up for i cannot stop you but dress up when i am not around or i don’t see you. she can deal with me dressing up but does not understand the cross dressing. she knows and will not see me, that’s fine with me but i will be careful with it and not push the issue. i don’t try to have more female cloths then her, it’s just that i took over most of her dresses and my mom’s when she passed away. for my wife wearing what she likes to wear as in manly clothing yes i cannot tell her what to wear and not wear that is so true. but why do woman tell us men what to wear and not wear? i guess if we wear men clothing that is fine but when it comes to a dress or skirt that would be a NO you cannot wear that. and as for accepting my cross dressing i would love that part to understand it well it would take a long long time for women to understand it. so yes, i would rather have my wife accept my cross dressing and just let it go as that. for talking to her about me cross dressing it would not go far. thanks for your responds on this Lucinda. i posted this question

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  2. My friend be careful looking for more acceptance.
    I hopped for that too, my ex even took me to Vegas for several nights out.
    But for her I think that was torture and I believe it was at least a part of why she divorced me.
    She saw happiness in my eyes when en fem and I think that hurt her, in that she wasn’t enough.
    So just be careful, oh sure now that I’m single I’m free to be me, but I’m lonely and that part I hate.

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    1. thank you, Rach, sorry to hear about her leaving you, yes you have more time being you but being alone stinks that’s for sure. i have been not dressing up as much for summer is coming and have been busy with county land and paper work to get our new home to get built and for we still have a 23 year old son still at home. i only dress up when i am feeling not good about myself and need to dress up and feel like a human again so to speak. hope you will find your self a person that will except you for who you are not what you are. have a great day Lucinda

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  3. I believe it is best to keep the cross dressing a secret. Yes, it would be wonderful to have a wife who understands and allows this, but not likely to happen. If it does, that is fantastic.

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    1. oh i keep it a secret, its that my wife knows and that is about it, besides my daughter might now and my niece might have a idea that i cross dress, but no one else. besides the people on cross dressing heaven. ah, ah.and here. would not be a goof thing to tell the world about my desire to dress up for society is not ready for this but some people are. as long as i can dress up at home and feel sexy and happy and free i am good with that

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