Riding Into Battle With Her High Heels On

I tried to pick my battles ’til the battle picked me

-Taylor Swift

As the days and years go by it becomes more and more obvious about what you should spend your time and energy doing and what deserves your attention. There are some battles that just can’t be won no matter the argument. It sounds completely ludicrous but there are still people who believe the earth is flat regardless of the proven scientific evidence.

Aaaand any second now the emails will start coming in from flat-earthers about how the planet is indeed flat and it’s part of a global conspiracy to hide the truth.

This is an example of a battle that cannot be won and I see little reason to spend any time or energy fighting it. The earth is flat?? Okay, whatever you say!

“Pick your battles” is one of the best pieces of advice you can listen to.

But there are also the battles that you are dragged into. You don’t WANT to fight, you didn’t start it, you don’t think it can be won, yet here you are defending something with all of your being.

I’ve been told that transgender people have politicized gender. Noooooo we haven’t. We have always been misunderstood and hated. We have always been feared. These things won’t change in my lifetime.

At some point some influential people decided we were a perverts and sinners and deviants and we were pulled into the spotlight.

I think every person reading this website is looking forward to a day when clothes are no longer genderizied, that a man wearing panties is literally not an issue, and we have the freedom to live a private life without random people at the mall thinking we are an abomination because of a falsehood that a news channel “reported”.

And yes, that day will be lovely but it feels that day becomes further away all the time. Although it is amazing to have the representation that we currently have, in some ways I miss living in a world where we were basically ignored. When I started to go out en femme one of my biggest fears was someone pointing at me and intentionally misgendering me. In retrospect that all seems so… trivial to today.

When I go out lately I wonder if someone will call the police because there’s a transwoman at Starbucks. I am not sure of what law I am breaking but that doesn’t stop people from acting out of fear, and they are convinced that I am someone they are told to be afraid of, that I am a threat.

I just want to live my little life and walk around the mall in my cute dress drinking my silly little coffee.

I am not making a political statement. I am not trying to fight a battle. I just want to be left alone.

It would be nice if people stopped spreading malicious lies about non-binary people. It would be nice if people stopped believing them. It would be nice to not have to fight for survival.

I will never be able to convince someone that transpeople aren’t a threat if they believe that we are. Once someone makes up their mind (or told what to think) it’s very unlikely that no matter what you say or do they will not change their mind.

So I don’t even try. It’s not a battle I can win.

I am often dragged into a fight with someone who emails me but I just ignore them, lol. I get emails that are paragraphs, entire paragraphs about how I am going to hell or that I am going to jail. I roll my eyes, delete the email, and move on with my life. I know they probably want to engage with me and are trying to make me angry but come on, if you think I am damned there’s nothing I can say that will convince you otherwise.

I am not going to fight you.

I am not going to change.

There are battles I will not be able to win. But at the same time, our enemies can’t win either. Legislation is not going to erase us. It MIGHT be the goal but trans people have existed for centuries and we’re not going anywhere.

Love, Hannah

10 thoughts on “Riding Into Battle With Her High Heels On

  1. “…never be able to convince someone that transpeople aren’t a threat if they believe that we are.”

    I wonder, in such a moment, should we ask ‘How am I, sitting here, drinking a coffee, a threat to you? What is it about my existence, in the grand scheme of society, that means I need to stop being me? To not live as intended, but hide away or be segregated.’

    But, that’s wearing isn’t it. To have to fight your corner each day and shore yourself up against the lies & hatred written about us.

    Meanwhile, the climate is changing and the cost of living is going up.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Hannah – wonderful column this morning – i can’t decide who is my greater heroine – you or Taylor Swift? – you know the story – she was groped at a news conference – and she got dragged the mud in court – but she won and settled the case for one dollar. You inspire me every day. Your columns give me confidence and the conviction that i am doing the right thing as i move to who i really am – a cross dresser. Take good care – bri

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Give em hell Hannah!. I’ve always loved strong witty women, and though it’s been years since circulating en femme for me, I understand only too well what you are saying. Having coffee with another lady, having a detailed department store conversation about garter belts, or make up issues, or bra straps, well that’s a very pleasant interesting neutral way to pass the time, same as talking about fishing techniques or hiking with a bearded buddy. I like it all, especially when a 5 year old girl pokes me and shyly admires a new 2 piece dyed to match outfit. Folks like us like the novelty of shifting roles and identities, while at our core it’s also a wide range of genuine interests and enthusiasm for details that happen to cross traditional boundaries. Would love to share a coffee with you, but even more would like to hear your spouse expound on her thoughts about her life with you. You two need to write that book and share it with like minds. Keep up the good work.


  4. One of the problems we cross dressers have is that children are being pushed into interacting with drag queens and such perverted actions by others who are not on our side but are hurting us and our cause with their weird and dumb actions, like in a Texas bar recently. What does this accomplish? Nothing good.
    BTW, Cost of living is crazy now and going up, up, up because of the present government’s idiotic actions toward oil and gas – we are all hurting badly and this is nonsensical and unnecessary. Why buy these items from other countries when we can simply produce our own – same difference in regard to the environment will occur either way!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hi Hannah, love today’s comments. How true. We just need to be left alone as those who make the comments feel the same when they are out and about. Love the outfit today. Have a fantastic day. Hugs, Lisa


  6. All very good points Hannah
    I feel much the same as I do my weekly grocery shopping almost always en fem
    Who am I hurting as I shop and watch as my bill has increased over 20 dollars a week
    But yes so true I’m not going to stop being a trans girl, well because it’s who I am


  7. “planet is indeed flat and it’s part of a global conspiracy” Made me laugh globes being round & all. As for the rest fully agree


  8. Some years ago I experienced literally having the police called because I had taken evening walks in the neighborhood where I lived. Mind you, I wasn’t dressed extravagantly in an respect, just a middle-aged, transwoman in casual summer attire.

    My heart almost stopped when a constable pulled up next to me. I was mortified when I was “asked” to sit in the car. My mind raced as I tried to imagine what law I might have broken and what a night in jail might be like.

    The constable was very professional as he advised me that there had been a complaint. He asked me what this was about and I said it was a long story….he said he had time. I explained that I was trans, had known since my earliest recollections. We talked for maybe ten minutes and at the end of the conversation, he advised me not to worry. They wouldn’t be responding to any more complaints about me.

    I still shudder a bit, but in the end I feel at least one person got it right.


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