Since you feel better and more productive as Hannah, why don’t you live more and more as Hannah? Hannah seems stronger than your male self.
You are absolutely right. Hannah is stronger than my male self because the everyday things she does are harder than the same tasks that he does.
This is cis male privilege, in my opinion. He can spend all day running errands and he never thinks about, well, anything. When Hannah does anything she has to be completely aware of her surroundings lest she is confronted by someone who isn’t a fan of the trans community. She can be followed, harassed, and attacked. Sometimes her stopping to get a cup of coffee is the bravest thing I can do.
But for him? Life and day to day adventures are incredibly easy. No one harasses him, no one points, he never has to look over his shoulder to see if someone is looking at him menacingly.
It’s similar to you can only be brave when you are afraid.
I feel content with the balance that both she and I have in OUR life/lives. I don’t feel the need to present as Hannah more than I already do.
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
3 thoughts on “Ask Hannah!”
Good answer to a fair question. Reflection upon both, it occurs to me that in asking why you don’t spend more time as Hannah, the question was a projection of something many of us feel…why cant we spend more, most or all of our time in girl mode. In general, its a great idea, but the answer is entirely specific to the individual. The balance point is different for each of us.
2 questions I have (I can’t remember if I asked this of you before or not)…
How often do you present as Hannah dressed from head to toe?
When you underdress do you internally think of yourself as Hannah?
I am en femme (completely about twice a month. I always underdress and my internal monologue is dependent on WHAT I am thinking of. If it’s about work or anything in HIS world, I am HIM. If it’s pink or cute than I refer to myself as Hannah, lol.