The Stranger

The legendary Stana has written more than once about the impact the song “In My Room” by the Beach Boys had on her.

Although not specifically about crossdressing, she listened to the lyrics and related to the song in her own way.

There’s a world where I can go
and tell my secrets to
In my room
In my room

In this world I lock out
all my worries and my fears
In my room
In my room

Do my dreaming and my scheming lie awake and pray
Do my crying and my sighing laugh at yesterday

Now it’s dark and I’m alone
but I won’t be afraid
In my room
In my room

I think a lot of us have done something similar. Whenever I hear the Billy Joel song, ‘The Stranger’ I think of the early days of my own gender journey.

Well we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out
And show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin some are steel
Some are silk and some are leather
They’re the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on

Is there a song that isn’t about, you know, all of THIS that speaks to you on a different level that what the songwriter likely intended?

Love, Hannah

Because We Can Can Can

Yesterday was the monthly MN T-Girl s event and it was a very unique outing. The group has had private shopping events and lovely dinners but this month? We had some fun.

Can Can Wonderland is… well, it’s an arcade, a restaurant, and an indoor mini-golf art installation in Saint Paul, Minnesota.

For some reason the girls have asked throughout the years to go mini-golfing and who am I to disagree?

So, about a half-dozen of us spent a rainy Saturday playing pinball and vintage video games. I didn’t get a chance to play any golf but the course looked amazing.

It was a nice break from packing and work stress and I can’t wait to go back!

Love, Hannah

I am Not Supergirl

Goodness life can humble you.

I can wear a cute dress, perfect heels, matching accessories, and get a very good makeover annnnnd BAM! Dysphoria smacks me in the face when I catch a glimpse of my reflection.

This, at the risk of sounding DRAMATIC and SHALLOW, can ruin EVERYTHING.

I like to think I can run (or at least strut quickly) a million miles an hour without rest but that’s not sustainable. Life has a way of catching up.

Sometimes we feel overwhelmed emotionally or physically or mentally. Sometimes all three gang up and jump us at the same time. Annnnnd that’s exactly what happened this week. I got hit with a very bad… something the other day. It made for a Very Bad Wednesday and it completely waylaid me.

As the rest of the week progressed I started to feel a little better and I am mostly just tired and achy (it’s not COVID).

The stress of work and moving and allll that just was too much for me. It was, as I mentioned, humbling. It was a reminder that I am not invincible.

Someone told me that maintenance, whether it was car repairs or self-care, needs to be scheduled… or it will be scheduled for you. And it won’t be convenient.

I am going to rest as much as I can this weekend (although the MN T-Girls are meeting up tomorrow) but the next three weeks are going to be bananas, lol.

Take care of yourself! There’s only one of you!

Love, Hannah

Happy Place

My wife and I are up to our eyeballs in mortgage documents and insurance paperwork and moving boxes and work is crazy and life is insane and I’m just trying to stay positive and I am barely surviving, lol.

Anyway, how are you?

But a very quick thought amid all the insanity.

I, and I imagine most of you as well, love having THIS side of ourselves… especially when the day is hard or life is overwhelming. No matter what life is throwing at me, I have the peace of retreating from the world when I slip into pretty lingerie and rest in my bed. It’s my happy place. And I HATE that term… probably more than I hate the word ‘journey’.

It’s shallow and superficial but I think we can all relate.

Take care of yourself, take care of ALL sides of yourself.

Love, Hannah