Just a reminder that there is a difference between looking feminine and looking like a female.
AND! This is going to sound a lot bitchier than I intend it to. Sorry.
Looking feminine, to me, is about dresses, heels, and makeup.
BUT! We shouldn’t “genderize” clothes, shoes, or cosmetics. A heavy metal drummer dude can paint his nails black or any color he pleases. High heels were originally meant for men.
Thus, we shouldn’t get too hung up on associating arbitrary gender norms with an article of clothing or a color.
BUT! For the sake of this post, I am referring to femininity in the binary sense. Meaning:
Pink = girls
Blue = boys
Dress = girls
Boring clothes = boys
Got it? Fabulous.
When I dress up, I am not trying to look like a female. I am trying to look feminine.
There’s just something cringy about saying “looking like a female”.
What I mean is that I am not intending people to think I am a cisgender woman. I am wearing clothes and presenting in a similar style of some cisgender women. But I am not a cisgender woman. I am a transgender woman. To me, cisgender and transgender can simply be adjectives.
I am a tall woman. I am a fashionable (hopefully) woman. I am a transgender woman.
My wife is a petite woman. My wife is a stylish woman. My wife is a cisgender woman.
“Looking like a female”, to me, implies that there is a standard that women must look like. Wearing makeup, a dress, or high heels does not make someone a woman. When I come home after a day en femme I am likely wearing stilettos and a bodycon dress. My wife is relaxing in yoga pants. Our outfits are about as different as can be but we are both women.
“Looking like a female” isn’t the compliment it’s meant to be. And I promise I am not calling ANYONE out. I am flattered when someone says I look like a female because I understand the intention of the compliment.
Let’s celebrate femininity, not standards.
6 thoughts on “Nuances”
I struggled a bit with this one. When it gets right down to it, when I dress I am doing what I can to look like a woman, but given my physical stature and features, I realize that is nearly insurmountable task. At the same time, I aspire that, as a transwoman, I present myself in a manner that reflects well on me as a person. I also hope my appearance reflects positively on transwomen generally, since I may be the only transwoman people in this community encounter in real life.
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Great post here because so many trans girls when they begin to get out into the world fear of being clocked, I certainly did but hey I have news for you it will happen
Most will know your not a cis women but yes we are trans women and yes we all like the idea of being feminine.
I myself want to blend in as much as I can, that’s my way of feeling comfortable, others want to get that full feminine experience like you Hannah, in dresses and heels and that is perfectly fine.
Even though I’m blending or I hope I am I still do my best to present as female as possible and it’s how I go about being who I am
yes great post and good reading to know. and yes, you could of fooled me, you look like a female in every way figure dressing up with different out fits, legs like a female and face like a female. keep up the posts and show the world that us girls can look as pretty as a real female.what is male clothing and female clothing any ways???? it’s just cloths to cover up our naked body parts
I made an Instagram post last night on this exact same topic!
I guess great minds think alike!
Crossdressing for me is NOT going all out, wigs, make up, and so on. All I ever wear are skirts, pantyhose, heels and maybe some lingerie otherwise I look like an everyday Joe just going out. In a way though, one could say I cross dress, of which the skirts are way more comfortable than shorts or pants.
Crossdressing loosely means to wear the clothing marketed or labeled for the opposite gender, and generally applies to men. There are no rules as to what a crossdresser what a crossdresser must wear. There are no rules that mandate a crossdresser must attempt to “pass”. There are no rules on sexual orientation to be a crossdresser, though most are heterosexual.
I am a crossdresser. I wear women’s clothes daily. Why? The reasons go on and on, but mostly…
• They are WAY more comfortable than men’s clothes
• They look WAY better on me than anything from the men’s department
• They are WAY more comfortable (they really are!)
• They have WAY more choices
Do I attempt to pass? NEVER. I just don’t have the face for it, I think the beard gives me away. I’m quite comfortable with who I am, and I’m confident enough to go out in public in a pair of slimming Levi’s, a blouse and heals.
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very well put. what is it women crossdressing in men’s clothing?? they are cross dressers also then. i wear dresses, skirts nylons, bra, panties and also put on make up. why because women wear men clothing and for i love to look pretty, i do have the figure of a female but not the voice.