Ask Hannah!

I am a guy of 59 and I have for a number of years now been wearing “female” clothing as part of my everyday wear, e.g skinny jeans long before they where available for men. I have also used leggings for quite a while and lately I have bought a few body con dresses. Dresses I do not wear in public, but skinny jeans, leggings, platform sneakers etc is part of my natural wardrobe.

Why, one might ask? Am I a cross dresser is another question? I am not sure myself, I do love women clothes as they are so much more comfortable (typically) compared to men’s clothes and that has been my main reason for wearing them. I am bald, I have beard but I do make up from time to time as I feel that color is fun but I could never pass as a woman (I think). I have never seen myself as a cross dresser but when I read your guide to cross dressing I started to think, absolutely not in a negative way but more of curious way and just wanted to reach out to see what you think.

I don’t think there will ever be (and I don’t think there should be) a set of universally agreed upon parameters and standards and requirements that, ah, absolutely classifies one’s gender identity or qualifies someone to align themselves with a certain label.

Are you a crossdresser? That’s up to you.

You might be a man that likes to wear dresses and leggings. Again, it’s up to you.

I think for some of us it might come down to how you view an article of clothing. Is it a dress or is it a woman’s dress? Are you wearing jeans or femme jeans?

On a side note, I think it’s kind of funny when department stores have sections named “Women’s Dresses” implying there is a section somewhere in the store for “Men’s Dresses”.

Gender identity is a highly personal choice and not one that needs anyone else’s approval or understanding. I work for a college and I work with many, many students with different lives and experiences. I’ve worked with girls who wear beautiful dresses who use they/them pronouns. It’s not what I expected from someone from someone who is (presumably) cis and dresses extremely feminine.

Gender identity and labels can change over time. I was crossdressing for years before I even knew of the word’s existence. I identified as a crossdresser for decades until I embraced identifying as transgender and, more specifically, bi-gender.

I mean, I am still a crossdresser. When I present as male I am wearing panties. I wear leggings and femme jeans in boymode. In a way how I identify is largely tied to my overall gender presentation… and it can change throughout the day. For example, last Saturday I woke up and stayed in my nightgown drinking coffee. I was in boymode… but wearing a nightgown. So, my overall presentation was BOY but I was wearing “girl clothes”. So, by my own definition, I was crossdressing. I then got ready for the day and I was in full femme presentation and I was no longer crossdressing. I was (and always am) a transgirl presenting as her gender identity. After my day I returned home, washed off my makeup and put on panties and boy jeans and was in boymode. So, I was once again crossdressing.

Does that make sense?

Some of us feel the need to identify as SOMETHING (and I totally get it) but some of us don’t. Don’t overthink it, don’t force yourself into a box or a label simply for the sake of having a word for who you are.

So, are you a crossdresser? It’s up to you. If you are interested in my perspective, I chat a little about this topic here and here.

Love, Hannah

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