Pride Month has come and gone and with that, the support from major corporations that seem to offer little more than lip service when it comes to the LGBTQ+ community. I suppose I am used to that by now.
I saw a company post about Pride Month the other day and how June is meant to celebrate queer culture and it got me thinking about transgender culture specifically. It prompted me to consider “what is transgender culture, anyway?”
A lot of queer culture, particularly at Pride events, seem to lean into the camp, antiquated stereotypes that have been associated with the LGBTQ+ community for decades. It’s meant to be fun and, on some level, perhaps it’s meant to “take back” the aforementioned stereotypes that have been thrust upon us. What I mean is that when I was younger “queer” was very much an insult, but today the community has adopted the word to be empowering and inclusive. We made the word “ours”, if you will.
And I like the word ‘queer’. It’s vague enough to include everyone (if they want to be included) and it’s not limited to sexual identity. Am I queer? Sure. But I am queer when it comes to gender.
But I feel transgender culture doesn’t really lean into the campy stereotypes that haunt our community. And I think that’s a good thing. I mean, we are primarily portrayed as fetishists and I think for most of us we want to change that narrative.
And yes, I do see the irony of how the photos I post may contribute to that narrative.
The narrative that is pushed is that all non-binary people, regardless of how an individual in the NB community may identify, is that there is no difference between a crossdresser and a transgender person. There is no difference between someone who has transitioned and someone who wears panties for sexual reasons.
If those in the transgender community leaned into that thinking, even to have a little fun, then I think it would give the people who promote that narrative even more fuel to that fire. And while it’s true that for some in the NB community, there is indeed a sexual aspect to who they are. And that’s fine, there’s nothing inherently wrong with having a kink as long as it is safe, ethical, and has the willing participation of anyone involved.
But that’s the tricky thing about culture, whether it is queer culture or anything else. The prevailing portrayal of a culture does not always represent an individual of that culture. Culture attempts, on some level, to be unifying.
So what unifies the transgender culture?
My first thought was fear. Which was really depressing, to be honest. Regardless of how you identify, there is likely an element of fear associated with who you are. When I identified as a crossdresser (or when I wear panties when I present as masculine), I was/am terrified of being caught. When I present en femme I am very cautious of being seen by people in my life that would be less than supportive of my gender identity.
We have this fear because we know what the potential consequences are when it comes to being outed. We could be ostracized from our family, we could be ridiculed at our job, we could get divorced. Regardless of your gender identity and regardless of where you are in your life, at one point you felt fear as it relates to you who you are.
You also likely were afraid of what all of this meant. Yes, you loved wearing girl clothes, but part of you may have felt fear that your wardrobe preference meant that you might transition in the future, which can introduce all sorts of anxiety-inducing life changes.
Celebrating fear is kind of lousy and not something anyone wants to do.
So, what can we celebrate? What else unifies us? What else is part of transgender culture?
Support. Acceptance. Community.
Since the NB community includes people who identify in many different ways (whether someone identifies as a crossdresser, transgender, or anything else) we need to be supportive and protective of each other, even when they identify differently than ourselves.
Why do we need to do that? Well, survival for one. We are stronger together. But also because gender identity changes over time. I identify as transgender, and twenty years ago I identified as a crossdresser. It would be hypocritical of myself if I didn’t support crossdressers.
So yes, support, acceptance, and community is a lot more optimistic than fear.
But that’s just me. What does transgender culture mean to you?
Love, Hanna
Hannah McKnight 
Given my own evolution in terms of sexuality and gender, I find the available terminology I use to think of myself as somewhat confusing and limiting. After reading what follows, I’m curious how others would label me. Am I a fetishist? Absolutely. I love to wear nylon stockings and pantyhose and find doing so is sexually arousing both visually and tactiley….So what am I?
**edited due to content**
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It is up to you to decide who you are. Others may label you based on how they label themselves, which not be a good fit.
Love, Hannah
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I am not really comfortable the the term “Queer”. It still takes my thoughts of way back when it was used to label flamboyant gay men, and even modern times parades it displays such an appearance to the public which I feel is a negative to the main stream LGBT/CD folks and even to straight people.. I like to think I dress in a way straight men like to see women. No flags, no rainbows, just living life like going to the Amish roadside market getting my home made goodies, thrift store shopping among women looking at skirts, dresses, bras, jewlery ect. I like how Hannah’s events get us out in public doing what people in public do, dressing and living as we desire.. Mary Jo
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Hannah, this was a fascinating perspective
For me, it’s always been about discovery through visibility.
Looking back, every stage of my life seemed to offer another breadcrumb that quietly said, “You’re not the only one.”
It started with the exaggerated gender nonconforming characters on late-night reruns. Then came the wonderfully chaotic internet of the late ’90s and early 2000s, where chat rooms, personal websites, and eventually MySpace introduced me to real people instead of caricatures.
MySpace was probably the biggest turning point for me. It was the first place I created a feminine persona. Long before Kelly, there was Emma. Being able to build a profile, upload photos, and interact socially as “her” transformed my thinking from “I wish I could crossdress” into “How can I?” It made that part of me feel tangible instead of imaginary.
Since then, blogs like yours, online communities, and social media have continued that process. They didn’t tell me who I was, but they gave me permission to explore who I might be.
I also appreciated your point about the privilege of being able to choose when and where we’re visible. I realized while reading that I’ve mostly experienced this community as an observer looking in. I haven’t lived authentically in every corner of my life, so I’ve had the ability to be selective in ways that many people don’t. That’s an important distinction, and one I hadn’t really considered until reading your post.
More recently, I’ve started thinking about what it means to become one of those breadcrumbs for someone else. The people who unknowingly helped me weren’t just sharing information. They were showing that people like me existed, lived ordinary lives, found happiness, and belonged somewhere.
Maybe that’s one of the most important parts of culture. Not that everyone shares the same interests or experiences, but that it creates enough visibility for someone who feels completely alone to finally recognize themselves in another person.
Thanks for giving me a new way to think about the word “culture.” I’d genuinely enjoy continuing this conversation sometime because I think there are a lot of interesting places it could go.
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Transgender individuals are not kinky because they are trans any more than straight people are kinky because they are straight. Having a fetish has nothing to do with sexual identity. I don’t understand why people keep believing this delusion.
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To me the important thing is to be our true selves.For many of us , I guess that conforming to what society expects has taken its toll , so what is wrong with being who we want to be. Personally speaking, my life has been a great better since I came out & started to live my life as Francesca rather than just being a closeted crossdresser. That was back in March 2025 & so far ,I have not received any adverse comments (says she touching wood very hard!!) The only problem is family, when earlier this year, my brother saw that I had ‘liked’something on a FB page,so I admitted about my crossdressing.He is yet to know about the start of my transition journey!
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