We are all living in a very different and frightening world compared to a few months ago. What did we even talk about or think about before COVID-19?
Schools, restaurants, businesses are closed, sporting events and concerts are canceled… this is all very surreal, scary, and bizarre.
Many of us are working from home, our normal routines which we took for granted are upended, we can’t purchase essential items from Target, we are isolated, and in some ways, feeling a little trapped.
Girls like us count on each other for friendship, support, encouragement, makeup tips, and just knowing we are not alone. Being able to connect is essential, but it’s more crucial than ever.
How are you all doing? How are you keeping it together? Please comment below.
If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!
‘The Buffalo Belles’ is a social support group for transgendered persons in the Buffalo, NY area. We are a group dedicated to sharing our thoughts, feelings, and hopes in life. We are strongly dedicated in creating a peaceful, private, and safe environment in which we can communicate, understand one another, and in doing so better understand ourselves.
When I started blogging I wanted to create a site that was a little different than most of the websites that I saw. The internet is a wonderful way for us to connect with each (and receive poorly written unsolicited private messages that start with “your beautiful”) but it’s also a way for us to write about what we’re thinking, feeling, and wishing for.
Many girls like me were writing about their journey, their frustrations, their accomplishments, and their anguish. They felt tormented by who they were. They were conflicted by their gender identity. I have nothing but sympathy for anyone who is pained by who they are. I know that who we are complicates our lives and relationships (to say the least) but who we are is wonderful.
And that was the approach I wanted to write about. I love having two gender identities. I love who I am. I love who YOU are. I wanted to write about the joy of having a femme side, even if it was hidden. I wanted to touch on who we are in a humorous way. Who I am, and who you are, is worth celebrating. Acknowledge this side of you, accept who you are, and embrace it.
Of course, I am not naive and I do not think this is as easy as it sounds. A few years ago I was walking to a restaurant and the sidewalk was a brick covered path. My stilettos kept getting caught between the bricks and I was constantly stepping out of my heel. Although I was looking and feeling amazing, my journey was not without frustrations. And girls, if that isn’t a metaphor for who we are, I don’t know what is.
I like to think I am well-adjusted, considering my bi-genderness. I like to think I balance life well living in-between my male side and as Hannah. I feel content regardless if I am wearing jeans or a little black dress. I am happy, and I hope that my website conveys that. Sure, I am frustrated and get depressed at times, whether it is a law being passed that targets the transgender community or something shallow and trivial like my eyeliner not cooperating, but for the most part I am really content.
My sense of humor is pretty dry and often times people don’t know if I am joking or not. I like to think I am clever and the titles of my blog posts are often a reference to a song lyric or something related to pop culture. Sometimes I think everyone will get the reference but that is not always the case. But for those that do, I hope it makes you smile… because it make me smile and I think I am hilarious.
Over the last couple weeks I received a couple messages and comments on Twitter telling me to lighten up. They had been reading my site for a while and said I was nothing but doom and gloom. Another told me to smile more. Of course my reaction was this:
Instinctively my first response to most things is to be a little bitchy. But I try not to react quickly and I give myself a little time to respond. Humor is usually the way I go. But humor can usually be multi-layered. This response is an acknowledgment that many men
UM HANNAH NOT ALL MEN
….yes, I know, not all men. Anyway many men tell girls that they’d be prettier if they smiled more. This response is a little sarcastic, a little passive-aggressive, and a little dark humor.
At any rate, I was surprised to get these messages. I like to think my writings are (for the most) a little lighthearted and focuses on the positivity of who we are. Sure, I have photos where I am not smiling (in an attempt to look like a bad-ass bitch) but I also have pictures that are a little silly.
I have had many moments in my life where I can empathize with what many women experience. Whether it is frustration with my foundation being discontinued or with something more serious, it’s quite unnerving to have interactions with some men
UM HANNAH NOT ALL MEN
….yes, I know, God, not all men. It’s quite unnerving to get photos of their… uh, anatomy in a private message, to be approached in public, and to be (awkwardly) hit on, either online or in real life.
When these things happen, my first thought is that I wish they would leave me alone.
Don’t tell me to smile, don’t ask me out, don’t send that picture.
If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!
The Rose City T-Girls have been established since November, 2007. We pride ourselves on earning respect from the entire community around us through our actions.
We have had activities with over a 100 participants and many times 30 or more. Our activities range from golf tournaments to weekly outings and annual trips to the Diva Las Vegas get together.
We are a very diverse group that ranges from cross dressers to fully transitioned male to female girls. We have had multiple girls complete their transition from start to finish at the same time helping and supporting others transition along the way.
We are confident we will continue to grow and support the community in all ways. It is exciting to see so many girls that have had the opportunity to find themselves as a result of the group.
We are and always will be Proud to be Transgender.
My name is Victoria Sinclair. I am the owner and operator of Over the Rainbow Transformations. I have over 20 years of experience providing transformation experiences to crossdressers and transgender women. And I enjoy my work very much! 🙂 This all started with my helping some friends refine their looks. It then became a part time career, and eventually worked its way into my heart so deeply that I had to do it full time! I am dedicated to continuing to make this place the very best it can be, and to learning all I can in order to help you achieve your goals. We host events, go out on the town, and generally get you out to wherever you’d like to go! There are shopping trips, movie and game nights, clubbing, NWGA events, and so much more…. We offer other services and products as well, to help you become “The Girl You’ve Always Wanted To Be”. I truly care about my girls, and always want them to look and feel their very best. It is so fulfilling to watch you blossom before my eyes, on the outside, into the woman you have always felt like on the inside! I hope I can be of assistance to you on your journey. Whether that journey is just around the corner (crossdressing occasionally or regularly), or all the way home ( complete gender reassignment), I am here for you.
If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!
Our primary goal is to create opportunities for transgender women to get together and socialize in a personally affirming, safe, and supportive environment. We also strive to raise awareness and understanding of the transgender community through our online presence and our positive interactions with the public at our events. We’re all about changing lives and changing perceptions.
We’re a warm, caring, and fun-loving group of girlfriends who happen to be transgender! We range in age from our twenties through our eighties and come from a variety of backgrounds and professions. We may be married or single, and may describe ourselves as gay, straight, or bisexual. What we have in common is a desire to celebrate who we are and to support each other.
Our group is open to anyone who identifies as transgender, including crossdressers, transsexual women, and those who are questioning or exploring their gender identity. We also invite partners, family members, friends, and allies to join us. Our spirit of inclusiveness creates a welcoming space where all of our members can enjoy themselves, and most importantly, be themselves.
For over 35 Years Carla’s – The Social Club has created a safe space to celebrate the Gender Spectrum, in both body and spirit, for the Transgender, cross-dressing, and Gender non-conforming communities. We are the only Transgender owned and operated boutique, makeup studio and social club on the west coast.
The Social Club is a Discreet, Safe and Private Space where you can spend the day en femme, make friends, become a Member or even rent a locker. The Social Club is a member-focused establishment, We do offer day passes and storage, as well as multi-day and monthly memberships to the club.
The Crossdress Boutique is a brand new shop for transgender people, we launched in mid 2015, our one mission is to supply modern tgirls with great quality products including the latest wig styles, clothing, apparel, gaffs, lingerie, breast forms, corsets, shoes, boots, hosiery, cosmetics, books and essential feminization videos. Our shop is geared firmly at the crossdressing community and we currently have 3 amazing tgirls in our online team, a very small but friendly bunch of people, always willing to help and support our transgender community through this our brand new online venture to give you a fresh one stop shopping experience.
CHIC stands for Crossdressers Heterosexual Intersocial Club. CHIC has been around since 1975 and will be celebrating their 50th anniversary in soon. They are a small group of primarily married heterosexual crossdressers who gather monthly in Long Beach California to socialize.
This group was originally born in Billings, Montana (see below); but since I have now moved back to Los Angeles, we are now back at home ready to conquer (well maybe blend seamlessly into) the world. The Golden Globes 2015 Transparent series awards followed by Caitlyn Jenners public transition were groundbreaking for the transgender community. Why? We are part of humanity and are simply trying to live life to its fullest without prejudice and intolerance. It is now a private group and prospective new members need to apply. The principles leading to the founding of this group in Billings will continue here in Los Angeles. This is a site for mainly social activities in Los Angeles with a focus on mainstream outings but regular transclub outings (Thank you Jamie Jameson!) and also for learning more about the broad spectrum of the transgender condition/experience since it is important for the public to understand who were are.
Diablo Valley Girls is a non-profit, non-sexual social support group for M to F transgender individuals, their families and friends.
We were formed in May 1991 by two local members of ETVC, since renamed TransGender San Francisco (TGSF).
Although mainly serving the needs of those in the East Bay area of Northern California, we have members in seven states. DVG is an open group and welcomes all mature and responsible persons. Our membership and mailing lists are confidential and our members are expected to observe everyone’s right to privacy.
We are NOT a dating or sexual contact service. Anyone with these interests should look elsewhere.
I love my big long beard. Santa would be jealous of it. I have had this beard for over 20 years. Plus I love to crossdress. That comes to the problem I’m about to ask.
How can I pull off crossdressing and big fluffy beard at the same time, without looking like a fool? I want my two favorite things to blend together: The beard and crossdressing.
Even after 20 years, there’s no beard in the world that can stop you from crossdressing. I believe that crossdressing is simply wearing clothes that are typically associated with the opposite gender, if we look at gender as binary (i.e. the short-sighted thinking that gender is classified as either male or female). Put on a pair of panties, eyeliner, or a wedding dress, and beard or no beard, you are crossdressing.
When it comes to this side of us, we need to think of this as what we want to accomplish. If you ask me how to crossdress, I’ll tell you to slip on a cute pair of panties and you are crossdressing. Ta-da! But that is not helpful. Instead, we need to think of our goals.
If we look at crossdressing as simply wearing clothes that are typically thought of as “girl clothes” a beard is not going to stop you from crossdressing. But if you are wondering how to make a beard work with a wig, full makeup, a cute dress, and heels, well, that’s a different story. Facial hair is one of the most masculine features that someone can have. That’s not to say that only men have facial hair, many cis-women do. But let’s be honest, there probably is not a lot of women who have a beard as fabulous as yours.
Many of us have features that we don’t want to change (your beard, for example) or unable to (my giant hands and height and shoulders and….I could go on) that we feel work against us when we are en femme. If we can’t change, or we don’t want to change something about us, then we need to embrace it. I can’t do anything about how tall I am, so I embrace it, and I rock my height. I used to think I should only wear flats to help myself blend in a little, but I could be barefoot and still be super tall. So, I embrace it and choose to wear four inch stilettos. If I am going to be tall, I am going to be REALLY tall.
If you want to keep your beard, then rock that beard. You can’t hide it, so show it off, girl.
I have that “guy” shape, almost cylindrical. I saw that you wear hip pads and on Amazon there are a gazillion types and prices. Do you have a type that you’d recommend to get a more feminine shape?
I also have that same shape as you and yes, I wear thigh pads from The Breast Form Store.
I didn’t think that I would ever be a forms/pads girl, but I am never, ever, going back. Of course, a girl doesn’t need to have curves or a certain shape to be a girl, but my God, I love the way I look.
I didn’t think that pads would make that much of a difference but look at the two photos below. Both dresses are form fitting but it’s obvious the changes thigh pads makes. You could read my review of my Jolie Thigh Pads here.
In addition to my shape, clothes fit different. In most cases they fit better. Most dresses and skirts were designed for someone with hips and my thigh pads do the trick. The only drawback, I suppose, is that tights and nylons have to work a little harder to fit as they need to accommodate the pads.
As you said, there are many options from Amazon available. Like makeup, you get what you pay for with pads and forms. Speaking frankly, pads are not cheap, but they are meant to last a very, very long time. I’ve had my thigh pads for over a year now and I wear them all the time and there’s been no sign of tearing or the adhesive diminishing. I’m sure there are cheaper options out there, but I believe in paying for quality. It goes back to one of my beliefs that creating your femme self takes money, patience, and time.
Love, Hannah
Have a question for me? Oh yes you do. Ask me here!
A bill introduced Monday in the Minnesota House would pull public funding from libraries that host “drag queen story hour” performances for children. “For calendar year 2021 and later, a public library that hosts a drag queen story hour event shall have regional library system support aid from the Department of Education reduced by 100 percent,” states House File 4323.
If I might add, many people out there don’t know, or care, about the differences between someone who identifies as transgender, as a crossdresser, or as a drag queen. You may identify as a crossdresser and think that laws like this don’t affect you. You may be in the closet and you may feel safe. You shouldn’t.
There have been a few laws passed recently, and even more in consideration that would strip away protections for the LGBTQ+ community. The power for doctors to refuse treatment to someone who is trans, for example. You might think laws don’t impact you as a closet crossdresser. But if you were outed, I doubt a lawyer, a human resources manager, or many of your co-workers understands (or cares) about the differences between a crossdresser or someone who is transgender. Legislative action against anyone, or any segment of the LGBTQ+ community is a threat to us all.
On a side note, I think these story hours are fabulous. I have considered doing them myself. I would have loved to see a girl like me doing something like this when I was younger. Someone who is physically male, but is confident and comfortable as who they are. Of course, who I am is not drag. This would not be a Drag Queen Story Hour, but do you think this law cares about the nuances?
If you know of a social/support group, a transformation service, or an organization in your state that would be of interest to our community, please drop me a line with that information and links and I will be happy to post it!
Our mission is a commitment to equity and quality of life for all LGBTQ+ people through community building, health and human services, and economic, social, and racial justice advocacy.
Our vision is to create a community where the presence and contributions of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender people are welcomed and celebrated; where intolerance is challenged and defeated; where justice prevails; and where civil rights of all people are valued and respected.
The Milwaukee LGBT Community Center is dedicated to serving the needs of LGBTQ people and to making the Greater Milwaukee area safer and more inclusive. We focus on anti-violence, healthy relationships, counseling, Youth & Elder Adult programming and more. Our Center’s resources include a lending library with over 2000 LGBT titles, meeting space for over 100 groups during the year, computer/internet access and referrals.
Brad and Nick Schlaikowski founded Courage MKE in 2015 with a mission to fuel a collaborative movement to provide the resources LGBTQ+ youth need to thrive. After their family fostered teens and learned of their struggles. They made it their mission to build something better for our most vulnerable.
In 2019 Courage MKE opened Wisconsin’s first home for displaced LGBTQ+ youth. Courage MKE believes that in order for youth to work on themselves, they must be able to be themselves. The Courage House is a licensed group home on Milwaukee’s south side. Our Staff, Board and Volunteers are committed to creating an environment in which each resident feels like they are a part of the entire Courage MKE Family. At the Courage House, we assist residents with counseling, life skills, family reunification, and provide them the same experiences every child deserves in a family setting.
Courage hosts different events and offers a safe and supportive environment for LGBTQ+ youth.
TG Miss was established in 2005 by Melisa Amy Ellis the owner. Melisa was to say at least ”fanatical” about taking great photos of herself. She invested a great deal of time and money into equipment, wardrobe, makeup and training. As she flourished in her craft of male to female transformation, it became evident that she could help others. By helping others she was able perfect her craft while providing a revenue stream to invest in better equipment and more feminine treasures.
When Melisa invited the first visitor to the TG Miss studio, the original goal was and remains the same today; to give clients “the best girl day of your life”. The studio has been referred to as a “theme park for cross-dressers” by more than one client. Like any good theme park, the attractions keep getting better and better. We understand the difficulty many people have committing large portions of their income to their “special hobby”. To help with costs, the staff at TG Miss does not take a regular salary. The funds collected go to cover the considerable overhead that goes into maintaining and upgrading a studio of this size.
Hannah McKnight 