I don’t think it’s uncommon for us to modify how we identify throughout our lives. As soon as I heard the word, I privately considered myself a crossdresser. About ten years ago, I knew this was more than just finding joy and comfort in clothes that are typically associated with the gender different than the one I was assigned to at birth and I felt that identifying as transgender was a better fit.
If I wanted to put a finer point on myself, bi-gender is probably the best word for me, as I am happy and comfortable and secure presenting and living as either a boy or a girl. However, since transgender covers a lot of territory, I primarily stick with that.
Whether I am a crossdresser or transgender, I would never be so bold to claim to be brilliant, but I can have brilliant thoughts. I’ve been a bit of a shopping spree lately and yesterday I received a super cute cami and panty set from Xdress. Yesterday was a long day and it was a late night, so falling asleep in cute lingerie was the perfect way to end the day.
If you’re not familiar with Xdress, they make lingerie for men. The models on their website are men wearing their beautiful bras and panties. From what I gather, their target market is men who love to wear cute, feminine undies. Their models are very male, no makeup or wigs, they are not presenting as a girl. This lingerie is different than En Femme and their new Carmen Liu line of lingerie. This lingerie is beautiful but also practical as it is designed to hold breast forms and to tuck our feminine flaw.
As I woke up this morning, I realized that my lingerie wardrobe is divided between bras and panties that I wear en femme and bras and panties that I wear in male mode. Although this new set from Xdress is beautiful, it’s not something Hannah would wear. When I am dressed, I have different needs from my lingerie. I need my gaff from the Breast Form Store, for example.
In male mode I do wear lingerie “for girls” and lingerie from Xdress and Homme Mystere. I underdress each day and my panties are either panties “for boys” or panties “for girls”. I am always wearing something.
My revelation this morning was that we can shift our gender identity throughout our lives, but we can also shift our gender identity throughout the day. I decided that when I am in male mode, I could be considered a crossdresser. But Hannah is not a crossdresser, she is transgender. I could wake up in cute lingerie like I did this morning, wear a matching bra and panty under my boy clothes, and I would be crossdressing all day. But as the day progresses and I am preparing to go out, my gender identity shifts to being transgender.
I suppose that labeling ourselves is rather pointless and I doubt anyone else thinks about this as much as I do, especially before they have had their coffee, but this was going through my mind as I lay in bed. Never let it be said that I don’t overthink.
At any rate, I am now awake, having my coffee, and sharing these perhaps not as brilliant thoughts I had imagined they were with you.
Love, Hannah
Hannah McKnight 
Oh, you’re definitely not the only one spending a lot of time on these kinds of thoughts to always come to the same conclusion of pointlessness 😉 In male mode, I sometimes wear feminine skirts, nail polish and/or jewelry, which could be considered as acts of cross-dressing, so… oh… never mind.
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Join the Overthinkers Club! I think it’s because we haven’t had the years of natural experience identifying as that Gender, so it’s a bit like doing a giant Crash Course in something and having to catch up really quickly!
Also, we love thinking about it, as it gives us nice, warm, secure and peaceful feelings, which we can ‘carry’ with us throughout the day, in some form, if only partly and hidden! We know inside we’ve got it on, so it bolsters our feelings, plus it is a naughty, exciting game to Present as Male yet secretly presenting as Female! It also helps us provide a sense of continuity in a World where we are often forced to Present and behave as ‘Male’.
We know that we can quickly revert to our ‘real’ clothes once we get away from these people!!!
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I once thought the way of “Male here, female there” but in all total honesty it doesn’t work for me. I’m transgender…in transitioning from male to female. I shudder at “male me” but smile and dream many more smiles seeing me as woman. Every person varies of course but let’s support each other no matter what; we are the community in the end.
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What a great, balanced and thought out reply! Indeed we are all different individuals but all on the same road! Thanks!
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