Hi! How are you? Anyway the other day I received a comment through my website suggesting that all the photos I post of myself on my website could come across as a little egotistical.
And yes! It could. And it probably does.
I am not trying to call anyone out here and I normally wouldn’t address something like this so publicly however the person messaged me anonymously without an email address to respond to. I deleted the message and I would like to say that I moved on with my life but I couldn’t stop thinking about it. That’s not to say I spiraled into a pit of… I’m not sure what kind of pit, possibly despair, but I didn’t feel like I needed to change anything in terms of what I post. The comment was gentle and I believe it was just a bit of well-meaning criticism. And that’s good! I appreciate that.
But I thought about why I post so many pictures. I completely understand how it looks when I include a picture with a post that isn’t specifically about a photo. For example, I recently wrote about the infamous and essential LBD. This post had quite a few pictures of me in various black dresses The post was not only about the dress itself, but also about its significance in my own life and gender presentation. I think that our style represents our confidence and how we feel about ourselves, such as moving from trying to blend in (by wearing black) to being secure about standing out (by wearing bright colors). I also think posting about dresses and not including photos of dresses is kind of boring. I am a visual person and I tend to get bored of posts without pictures if there’s an opportunity to do so. Yes, I could pull pictures from Google but it’s not the same.
Another recent post that comes to mind was about shopping recommendations from a few businesses. The first of these two featured highlighted En Femme and The Breast Form Store. Most of the pictures in the posts were of me and it was with the intention of being helpful but I admit I could have missed the mark. Firstly, I wouldn’t recommend a business that I didn’t personally like. I wouldn’t recommend a dress that I wouldn’t wear. I think showing that I wear heels from The Breast Form Store lends a lot more credibility when I mention that they fit well and that they are comfortable. I also wanted to use photos that were different from the photos that are on the respective websites. A model wearing a dress against a plain background is one thing, showing someone wearing the same dress at a mall is another thing. One of the reasons I do what I do for En Femme is that they wanted more pictures of their clothes in the real world. Someone modeling their outfits in an appropriate setting, whether out shopping or at a party.
I also use my own photos instead of the shots that are on En Femme’s website because the girls modeling the outfits are just too beautiful. I can’t look like the models that En Femme uses.
When I look at those girls I get really discouraged and back into the pit I go. There’s no way that dress could look that good on me (and it doesn’t, lol). I try to present crossdressing and presentation in a realistic way and photos are one way of doing that. From what I can tell from comments and emails most of the girls who follow my blog are like me. Happy to be go between gender identities and presentations with no plans or needs to transition or take hormones. We rely on thigh pads instead of estrogen to give us curves. I want to show what a dress looks like on me because most of my readers ARE like me.
I know how it looks when I post a lot of photos. I cringe a little when I do so. I never think that I am THE MOST AMAZING t-girl in the world. I get down about myself a lot. I swing between hubris and dysphoria in a matter of minutes. I admit I do post pictures because I am proud of the hard work I put into how I look. Whether it’s staying in shape or mentally being confident enough to go somewhere en femme that I never thought I would have the courage to visit.
I wanted to chat about this because quite frankly if one person is thinking this then it’s likely many people are thinking the same thing. I try to stay humble and my website makes me look more confident and secure than I really am.
I do appreciate the comment more than this is likely suggesting. I am a lot more self-aware than my writing suggests I am. After I post I reread it a few minutes later to see it from fresh eyes. I will rewrite and edit something if I need to. Some posts take days to write as I need time to process and consider what I want to say. My response to the aforementioned email is very different today than what I would have likely written a few minutes after receiving it. I try not to react to something quickly as I get older.
SO! That is that. If you’re tired of me I get it, I get tired of me as well.