Let’s start this week with the cheerful realization that the world will never be ready for us.
AND! Since the world will never be ready for us than the world will never let us know it’s okay to be who we are. Some of us are waiting for the day for the world to accept us. We are waiting to come out to someone, to step out into the real en femme, to so SOMETHING. We are waiting for a sign that the world doesn’t hate us, that the world is, well, READY for us.
BUT! That day is NEVER COMING.
I know! It sucks!
And right now you are saying DAMN GIRL you are SO pessimistic. And you know what I am NOT pessimistic. I am RIGHT. And It SUCKS that I AM RIGHT.
BUT! How do I know that the day is never coming? Can I see into the future? NO I CAN’T.
Just as those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it, you can see the future by looking at what is happening NOW.
SO! What is happening now?
Well, for one, the world lost its mind last week when some company decided that a potato toy didn’t need to have a gender. The fallout was predictable. POTATOES and TOYS are BOYS OR GIRLS was the opinion, the rallying crime, the hill people are going to die on.
Unless you know what I am talking about you are probably thinking that I have lost my mind. Okay, here’s the story:
Toymaking giant Hasbro engendered (ahem) controversy this week by announcing at its investor day that it was dropping the “Mr.” moniker from its Mr. Potato Head line of toys, and would be offering a gender-neutral version of the toy alongside the traditional Mr. and Mrs. Potato Head.
Basically this new potato head will come with a “boy” accessories AND “girl” accessories and children can play with a toy however they wish.
This made a lot of people upset. Potatoes and toys must have a gender. DOLLS are girls, TRUCKS are boys, VOLLEYBALLS are girls, HOCKEY PUCKS are boys. POTATOES are boys OR girls.
Which is really, silly. I mean, I remember letting my Mr. Potato Head carry a purse when I was younger and look how I turned out and OMG maybe THEY are right.
These days we are inundated with information and there are some sentences I never thought I would type such as “last week we learned that the world isn’t ready for a potato that is gender non-conforming”. This incredibly stupid reaction is a sign that if the world isn’t ready for a gender neutral plastic potato, than it is not likely the world will ever be ready for someone like me. Someone who chooses their gender presentation however they please. Someone who is both, someone who is neither a boy or a girl.
In a more sane world, no one would care about what wardrobe a toy had. In a more enlightened world, no one would care what kind of a wardrobe I had.
Okay, but here’s the thing. The headlines, the soundbites, the outrage… I don’t think it’s as reflective of most people’s opinions as we might think it is. LOUD doesn’t mean the majority. Truthfully, I really, really don’t think most parents care about the gender identity of a potato toy. But goodness, it makes for a eye-catching headline that entertains people for a couple hours before we move onto to the next news item.
We as a community, whether you are bi-gender, a crossdresser, a drag queen, whoever you are, the front page of the newspaper will never say IT IS OKAY TO BE TRANSGENDER. That day is not coming.
BUT! And this is my point, just as most of the world probably doesn’t care about gender and potato related issues, I really don’t think most people are concerned about someone else’s gender identity or presentation. If I spend the day paying attention to every trans-related headline and news story, I would be convinced that the world hated us. That the world was trying to stop us, to make us go away. I mean, some of the world is working on this, but I don’t think the majority of people want this. I don’t mean for this to be pessimistic, but I really don’t think the majority of people care.
And that’s a good thing! I don’t care about what anyone else is wearing, I don’t care who sleeps with or the pronouns they use or what sports teams someone else likes. NONE of that impacts me. And I think most of the world is too wrapped up in their own lives to really care about anyone else’s.
Sometimes it feels like the world is a cold, dark place. BUT! when I step out of the house en femme I realize that most people don’t care. Most people are really nice. Sure, there are some that are concerned about gender presentation when it comes to people AND potatoes, but those people aren’t as common as we might think they are.
So the WORLD might not be ready for us, but I think PEOPLE are.
Digital art by Marci Ansen