Yesterday I posted some thoughts and pictures from my first photo shoot of 2021. Typically the first outfit of a shoot shows excitement and confidence… but as the shoot progresses my energy starts to deplete. Sometimes my energy is strained because of a pose or from a pair of stilettos. Some shoots require a lot of walking and as accustomed as I am to walking in heels, sometimes after a couple of miles(!) my legs start to feel a little weary.
Sometimes the shoot itself can be emotionally exhausting. My last shoot was all about lingerie which was a first for me. I’m used to getting photographed, I am used to wearing dresses with thin straps, skirts that are probably too short, so I didn’t think that lingerie shots would be that different than what I was used to. My god was I wrong. I wrote recently about feeling vulnerable and exposed during the shoot. I was showing a side of myself that the world never sees and it triggered a lot of emotions. I wear my heart of my sleeve (when I have sleeves) so my emotions are usually pretty obvious when I am feeling something.
The shoot ended with a different dress than the first one I wore that day. And to be honest, I wasn’t feeling it. I was tired from the shoot, I was hungry, I was emotionally drained. I was exhausted and felt vulnerable (lingerie can do that to you). I was ready to call it a day but I had a cute flowery dress and I decided to get a few pictures of it.
These photos are cute. Well, the dress is cute, and Shannonlee did amazing work as always. The hotel had fun places to take pictures in, my makeover was still amazing, but I was done. And I think the pictures show that, or least they show me trying harder to look confident and happy despite being tired and hungry.
My final thought from this shoot (and I know I’ve written a lot about this shoot) was that I know I am not “a model”. Yes, I model and by that logic I AM a model, but I don’t think of myself as anything or as anyone special. When it comes to this kind of work I am literally stumbling in the dark. I should probably hire a modeling coach but I think Shannonlee and the clothes and my makeup artist do all the heavy lifting. They make me look good, and I think their expertise compensate for my lack of experience and my lack of…uh, knowing what I am doing.