Depending on where you are on your journey of gender identity and your wardrobe collection, you might have a femme name. It’s obvious why we have femme names. It’s a little weird to wear a cute dress and spend an hour on our makeup and introducing ourselves as Frank. I mean, you do you obviously but I was at a point in my life when it simply felt weird to look at myself and have a boy name when I was wearing my wig and makeup. The wig and makeup were the breaking point, if you will. I could call myself by my boy name when I was wearing panties or lingerie, but once I strutted across the line of makeup and wigs my reflection screamed GIRL and anything, especially my boy name seemed… well, it wasn’t a good fit.
My name comes from the Japanese word ‘onnagata’ which means “woman role”. At one point in Japanese theater women were not allowed to be on stage so the roles were played by men.
Essentially the word is essentially a female impersonator. Early on in my social media days I needed a last name to register for forums and websites. I used “Hannah Gotta” which more or less rhymed with ‘onnagata’. “Gotta” was never meant to be my “last name” but it was just something to type in that field. It was a few years until I adopted ‘McKnight’ as my last name. There’s no real story for McKnight other than it’s the name of a street in Saint Paul and I thought “Hannah McKnight” sounded good.
Our names can be a variation of our boy names. Some of us go by the name our parents were considering if they had a daughter instead of a son (but they did anyway). Some of us have names that we simply liked and thought were beautiful. We all have stories for our names, but at what point did you realize you needed and wanted a femme name?
15 thoughts on “Hi, My Name Is…”
I have adopted DeeDee, but just as with my male name, most people I know have shortened it, and tend to call me Dee (which feels a little more grown up and professional lol). The name was a nickname my niece gave me when she was learning to talk years ago so it already has a positive feel for me and is a name I automatically respond to hearing. I will need to decide eventually but for now I am happy as long as I am referred to as a woman when I am obviously appearing that way.
I actually started with another name because I loved the name Heather and thought it so feminine
But once I was out and presenting female
I went with Rachael Leigh which is similar to my male name.
So yes many reasons for our girl names
I originally gave myself the name Allison, for the first girl I had a crush on in 8th grade, but it never felt like me.
Fast forward about 10 years. I had been out for about 9 months and never had a need for a femme name. I went to the Nordstrom Anniversary sale and my sales angel Falon had a room set up for me. All the other rooms had the person’s first name written on the change room door, while my door had (for somewhat obvious reasons) my first initial (D) and my last name. My wife had a friend Diane, but she went by Dee, so I became Dee.
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For me, I realized I needed a female name when a woman I know started calling me “cindy.” And every time since that I have needed a feminine name, I have used “cindy.” And at one point, I needed a last name too, and promptly coined one that I still use to this day.
My name is Kathleen de mayer. Kathleen comes from Kathy what i would sound like by my parents if i was a girl.well.. . And De Mayer. A flemisch name i liked. In English it is translated as ‘ one who mows the grain in a field’, not that i am a farmer girl
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When I introduced this side of myself to my then girlfriend, and future wife, she asked what my name was. I had never thought of that. Between us we tried out some names, and Evelyn just felt right.
I believe McKnight Road is named for William McKnight. He was one of the early leaders in 3M, and some of his principles still lead the corporation to this day. The road runs along the west side of the 3M corporate campus.
I originally picked Rita Pooka, when I first started going out and realized “Hey You” would not cut it. Rita, because I did not know anybody named Rita and therefore no matter who found out what nobody could be insulted. A Pooka is a mischievous forest sprite, and when I was small one of my grandparents called me Pooker. The first time I said it out loud to somebody (the woman who was to do a makeover), I realized that would never do. So I messed around with my birth name, and came up with a reasonable anagram (short a couple letters) – Linda Renee Elwenn. I am not totally happy with the Elwenn, but it sounds a lot better than Pooka!
I started using “Dani” when I began writing cross-dressing fiction and introduced myself by that name in my earliest encounters with the CD/TG world. It’s a feminization of my middle name. I went with that instead of feminizing my first name because the usual nickname for my first name is pretty much the feminine form,
My name, Gini, is short for Virginia. I chose it as a tribute to the first GG who knew about “the real me.”
Great topic. My male name is Bryan and I wanted something close. I chose Brianna because is sounds both feminine and strong. I also like the short form “Bri”. Not sure when I chose it but it was pretty early in my journey, something like 25years ago. About ten years ago, I got my girl email not so much to hide things but not to mix things, I keep my girl clothes in a different closet than my guy clothes. Love Bri
I chose Lisa for a lot reasons: (1) you can’t feminize my first name (although I did once meet a woman with that name — I felt bad for her, because most people would assume she was a male and address her as Mr.), (2) I wanted a name in common use in the year I was born, as I want to “fit in” with other women my age, (3) I always loved the name Elizabeth, and I thought I could use both the long form and one of the many short forms of it (although now I stick with the nickname 95% of the time) and (4) I wanted a name I could write beautifully and that was easy to write. I have been Lisa for over 20 years and I own my name and love it!
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I was given the name Kimberly at birth. It feels a bit awkward when I am presenting as my male self, but quite comfortable otherwise.
Decided on my femme name almost right after the first time I ventured out in a dress and wig (don’t wear a wig at this point … hair is down on my shoulders). The Starbucks picture strikes a chord. Few times out presenting and has to give a name – “Joe” really didn’t feel right.
Well there is “Jo” which is female and has lead to interesting situation when I’ve gone with legal name while presenting. Most notable was one time at the dentist the usual hygienist was off. The hygienist filling in was looking for “Joe” … couple minutes progressing through … she was looking for a “male” … he must be in the restroom to … “we have your name spelled incorrectly” (Joe vs female Jo).
Anyway… after the first few times out decided on Sophie. Greek for wisdom which I thought was nice. I’ve since shifted to Sophia which is the original Greek (has a softer more feminine feel).
Wonderful post! I chosen the name Rachel because I have crossed path with several women of the same name in my life, they were kind, talented, intelligent and beautiful in each of their own way. My femme side would aspire to be just like them. I also adapted a middle name, it’s the femme version of my boy name. So, I have a boy and a girl name plus an in-between name that I felt appropriately reflected the fluidity that I am.