Just a quick note to let ya’ll know I am back from my work trip and regular postings will resume, at least until my next trip.
I’ve written about my anxiety before and one of the annoying things about anxiety is that a scenario can pop into my head that isn’t likely to happen or if it DOES, it’s probably not going to happen in the way I am afraid it will. Anxiety kicks in (for me, at least) due to unlikely potential situations and although I try to be rational and tell myself that almost every single thing I obsess over never happens, it does little to ease my mind. That being said, I had a feeling this would be a challenging trip and it was, but like almost every situation, it was challenging in different ways than I expected.
When I travel for work it’s usually because of the final days of a project my team is working on. We were always going to come up for short for this particular project so that wasn’t a surprise, but despite that, part of me was looking forward to the trip. It would be an opportunity to see my team, go to a few restaurants I enjoy, and do some shopping. But as a t-girl knows, the most carefully laid plans can go awry. Most of my team was out with COVID so there was extra work that needed to be done because of that. I wasn’t able to see my co-workers (who I generally like), and the additional time at work meant less time to do non-work stuff. I wasn’t able to do as much shopping as I was hoping to do. It’s fun to buy new lingerie to wear in my hotel room, for example.
After five days or so of solid work, I was able to do a little shopping. By the time I was able to enjoy a little free time, I was craaaaaabby. I was tired, I was feeling drained. I visited the normal places when I travel, such as book stores and of course, a little lingerie shop. I found some really cute panties and a few other things that caught my eye but I left without purchasing anything. See? I told you I was crabby.
I had an early dinner or late lunch (depending on how you looked at it). I wasn’t used to being in a different time zone so my internal clock was off. By the time I returned to my hotel room, I had eaten, I had stepped away from the doomed work project, and my mood had stabilized so I was able to unwind. I sat in my room and just stayed silent for a while. I thought about last year, I thought about my co-workers, I thought about the pandemic, I thought about work. I thought about the new year. I’ve been learning a lot about life through the pandemic and like a lot of us, was reminded that life is short, but I also remembered that our quality of life is also limited. I may live a long time, but being healthy enough to live my life as I’d like to is also short.
And yes, I know not everything is about lingerie or crossdressing or gender. But everything IS about being true to yourself and being happy. As I sat in my room and watched the day end, I realized I should have bought the panties. I should have treated myself to new lingerie. Although none of us are promised a tomorrow, tomorrow is always more fun when you have new panties to look forward to. And yes, I know this is shallow.
That’s all I have to say for now. Life is short. Buy the panties. And the heels. And the dress.